I've made up my mind

[Charaltontin]

I've spent so long planning and thinking if I should do it or not...but all the thinking is just a distraction..if I really wanted to die I would've already done it, and that's what I'm gonna do, I just had a couple things to share this isn't my note. First is selfishness, you and the people that care about you are both selfish, you for wanting to die and leave and them for wanting you to stay and keep going. People always say there's more to life but while yes it's true it's not always good. I'm a little glad I planned and kept myself distracted cause it gave me time to really get ready, I don't wanna do it at home and have my family see me, idk why I care if I'm gonna be dead and won't even see them suffer so what's the point but that's just how I want it, I've never had an adventure so leaving and seeing the city at dark and finding a place would actually be fun, I'm taking pot, beer, rope and other things, my phone for music, and...also I'm not gonna tell anyone..I've made that mistake before, so instead today on my birthday I said thanks to everyone and that I love them, there probably gonna hate me for not telling them but I hope
They understand why.. expect the worst but hope for the best, I've tried getting help professional help and hospitals and medicine for my depression and thinking but it doesn't help..so it's just come to this, what I'm just gonna say to anyone who actually reads this is that you really do only live once so take that chance and do what you want. Have you made up your mind yet or are you just distracting yourself?

 

[Passersby]

Both. I have made up my mind and I'm also distracting myself in the meantime. The only other thing is actually being able to go through with it. That's a personal battle for each one of us. I can relate to your post a lot since I've tried everything for helping myself too but wasn't able to get to a satisfactory level. At least you have a fun trip planned before you do it.

Buy the ticket! Take the ride!