I've made up my mind and I'm at peace

[kittybangbang]

I've suffered from depression for over 25 years (I'm not old, I've just had depression for 95% of my life). I've tried to end my life more times than I can count. I was an alcoholic for many years. Turned to drugs after my last relationship became abusive. Ended up just ruining the last bit of hope I had for a decent life. Now I feel like my only choice is to be gone. And I am totally ok with that. It feels freeing to make a plan. I know the tools, the day, the time. I even know how to make sure the right person finds my body. It feels like a weight has been lifted. All I have left to do is write a couple letters. The same letters I've written a hundred times before that never got read. These will be though.