I’ve decided on SN

[needtogo]

Bought a shotgun a bit ago, won't be able to get ammo for a while. Realized I don't want my family to have to see a mutilated corpse. I have acquired SN, and have benzos plus ant-acids, just no beta-blockers or anti-emetics. I most likely will be unable to get the latter two for the foreseeable future.

I will be CTBing within the week. I'm a larger individual(~200 lbs) so I believe I will be using closer to 30g SN. I can chug shit quite well so I'm not worried about the taste, only fear is the vomiting due to lack of anti emetics.

I have a long ass note describing why I'm doing what I'm doing. I have been avoiding my friends and family other than parents for weeks now. I don't know whether to Irish goodbye the world or send some delayed messages.

I do not have the ability to have closure on my life. I simply don't. So I need advice about getting my mind in the right place. Do I go out angry? Full of rage? Or do I attempt to grasp the last essence of tranquility my soul has to offer? Any advice would be much appreciated. I haven't been on this sight for long but it helped me a lot in terms of figuring out my options. So thanks to everyone reading this.

 

[faust]

Bought a shotgun a bit ago, won't be able to get ammo for a while. Realized I don't want my family to have to see a mutilated corpse. I have acquired SN, and have benzos plus ant-acids, just no beta-blockers or anti-emetics. I most likely will be unable to get the latter two for the foreseeable future.

I will be CTBing within the week. I'm a larger individual(~200 lbs) so I believe I will be using closer to 30g SN. I can chug shit quite well so I'm not worried about the taste, only fear is the vomiting due to lack of anti emetics.

I have a long ass note describing why I'm doing what I'm doing. I have been avoiding my friends and family other than parents for weeks now. I don't know whether to Irish goodbye the world or send some delayed messages.

I do not have the ability to have closure on my life. I simply don't. So I need advice about getting my mind in the right place. Do I go out angry? Full of rage? Or do I attempt to grasp the last essence of tranquility my soul has to offer? Any advice would be much appreciated. I haven't been on this sight for long but it helped me a lot in terms of figuring out my options. So thanks to everyone reading this.

Hello, I wouldn't personally go without antiemetics because I would like to decrease the possibility of vomiting. It is not so hard to get antiemetics. You can even get those which do not require prescription. Or get a prescription online.
That is my personal opinion, however, it might be better to send some delayed messages. A kind of farewell.
Concerning leaving this world, it can be a self-affirmation that you have to do this or be too desperate, or merely when you feel that now it is the time.
I will go with thoughts that I have to do that right now. It is like my duty. Like those soldiers who were dying on war - they did their job.
Plus it might be easier for you if you have not slept for a few days and just want to end it.
Well, this is very personal and I cannot say for sure what will work for you

 

[needtogo]

Hello, I wouldn't personally go without antiemetics because I would like to decrease the possibility of vomiting. It is not so hard to get antiemetics. You can even get those which do not require prescription. Or get a prescription online.
That is my personal opinion, however, it might be better to send some delayed messages. A kind of farewell.
Concerning leaving this world, it can be a self-affirmation that you have to do this or be too desperate, or merely when you feel that now it is the time.
I will go with thoughts that I have to do that right now. It is like my duty. Like those soldiers who were dying on war - they did their job.
Plus it might be easier for you if you have not slept for a few days and just want to end it.
Well, this is very personal and I cannot say for sure what will work for you

Thank you so much for the advice and message. You have always seemed like a great person on this site!

 

[yetme]

I do not have the ability to have closure on my life. I simply don't. So I need advice about getting my mind in the right place. Do I go out angry? Full of rage? Or do I attempt to grasp the last essence of tranquility my soul has to offer? Any advice would be much appreciated. I haven't been on this sight for long but it helped me a lot in terms of figuring out my options. So thanks to everyone reading this.

There's no point in spending your last moments on this planet in anger. Do you feel like a party? Have a pint, a nice meal, maybe some dope. Then wake up in the middle of the night and have a glass of SN.