I've been realizing that NOTHING in my life has worked

[ChildrensITV]

Literally nothing has worked. Everything has failed. Or worked just long enough to fail later.

My sexuality? A cursed mess.

My career? An embarrassing failure.

My living conditions? Psychologically inhumane.

My family life? Where?

My looks? I have to disguise myself to leave the house, to look like a human.

My romantic relationships? All ended in tragedy. Most never got off the ground.


It's been nothing but flops most of my life. My life is a humiliation ritual for me. Someone, somewhere is sitting with popcorn and watching how horrible my waking moments are. My life is absolute kino to someone, somewhere. It's a hell inside my own body. You could be standing next to me and not know the hell I am going through. It's pointless talking to anyone about it cuz they're bored of hearing about it, and they don't understand anyway. I'm in this on my own. I have to suffer it alone but if I caught the bus, then I would be "making it everyone else's problem". How selfish of me to care about my own suffering and put an end to it.

I gotta go through life, hating it. And for what? To protect others around me who don't care how bad my life is. 4 yrs ago, I thought my life was going to turn a corner. A relationship began. No. It was just the universe stringing me along to make me fall harder. That relationship failed predictably. Like anything good that happens for me.

My life is one big visit to the mall with no money. I can look around at what is on offer, but I can never buy. I can see what others experience, but I can't experience it myself. Occasionally, the clerk will say: "You can have this! Hold it. Embrace it. It's yours. Walk out the store with it." And then the security-guard will say: "No. Return it". Anything I have is so the universe can mock me for losing it.

My life is UNREAL. It has to be a movie that I'm starring in. The Trueman Show got a makeover. There is no way my life is real.

 

[brighteyesfan144]

same

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Same. Life has been one one giant humiliation for and always observing, never having.

 

[Kari0499]

same

Same. No one saw.

 

[ChildrensITV]

same

It's amazing how little it would take to make my life at least bearable. But I can't have even that.

 

[Unknown21]

It's amazing how little it would take to make my life at least bearable. But I can't have even that.

I'm almost in the same situation as you.

 

[Dark Moon]

Same for me, it feels like I'm forced to just be a spectator instead of participating like everyone else is.

 

[kitkat9234]

It's unbearable

 

[qewpie]

just wait until u feel like a failure ur whole life and then lose ur health too, bc of ur own stupid mistake. (im referring to myself)

 

[58Alice85]

i feel like this world has this soul-crushing hatred towards me

 

[ChildrensITV]

just wait until u feel like a failure ur whole life and then lose ur health too, bc of ur own stupid mistake. (im referring to myself)

Did you try to CTB and it didn't work out? That is one of the things keeping me prisoner on this horrid space-rock.

 

[qewpie]

Did you try to CTB and it didn't work out? That is one of the things keeping me prisoner on this horrid space-rock.

no I went hiking after a viral infection (probably COVID) and sent my body and myself into bedridden hell

 

[undo445]

Literally nothing has worked. Everything has failed. Or worked just long enough to fail later.

My sexuality? A cursed mess.

My career? An embarrassing failure.

My living conditions? Psychologically inhumane.

My family life? Where?

My looks? I have to disguise myself to leave the house, to look like a human.

My romantic relationships? All ended in tragedy. Most never got off the ground.


It's been nothing but flops most of my life. My life is a humiliation ritual for me. Someone, somewhere is sitting with popcorn and watching how horrible my waking moments are. My life is absolute kino to someone, somewhere. It's a hell inside my own body. You could be standing next to me and not know the hell I am going through. It's pointless talking to anyone about it cuz they're bored of hearing about it, and they don't understand anyway. I'm in this on my own. I have to suffer it alone but if I caught the bus, then I would be "making it everyone else's problem". How selfish of me to care about my own suffering and put an end to it.

I gotta go through life, hating it. And for what? To protect others around me who don't care how bad my life is. 4 yrs ago, I thought my life was going to turn a corner. A relationship began. No. It was just the universe stringing me along to make me fall harder. That relationship failed predictably. Like anything good that happens for me.

My life is one big visit to the mall with no money. I can look around at what is on offer, but I can never buy. I can see what others experience, but I can't experience it myself. Occasionally, the clerk will say: "You can have this! Hold it. Embrace it. It's yours. Walk out the store with it." And then the security-guard will say: "No. Return it". Anything I have is so the universe can mock me for losing it.

My life is UNREAL. It has to be a movie that I'm starring in. The Trueman Show got a makeover. There is no way my life is real.

I feel you man. It's like I'm just a spectator.

 

[moonmuse]

your words hit me hard bud

 

[fkyou]

I'm in this on my own. I have to suffer it alone but if I caught the bus, then I would be "making it everyone else's problem". How selfish of me to care about my own suffering and put an end to it.

Eh this