I’ve been putting this off too long.

[Dizzy_Dreams]

There is nothing for me in this world or life.

I'm fucked up. Easily paranoid. Easily upset. I haven't been a good person.

My family is messed up. I don't even have a shot at life and nothing interests me at all. I'll admit I'm pretty selfish person. I don't fit in anywhere. And I have no one. I can't trust anyone not even myself.

I don't want to be an elderly person or an old woman. I'm scared of pain. I want to order N I'm wondering if one bottle would be enough or if I'd have to drink two?

I'm completely terrified of what comes after I'm scared of going to hell. I'm really really scared of hell. But if I keep living maybe I'll go there anyways? Truthfully I wish I had never been born. I just want to drink N and drift off to sleep and never wake up...

I've been putting it off because of how scared I am of hell and because I know it's a permanent thing and that I'll never see my boyfreind or dog again and that he will move on with his life and meet someone else and they'll take my place with my dog.

But I know I have to do it.

 

[rs929]

It soothes me it will be all over eventually, one way or another.

Why do you think you're a bad person? Who have you murdered?

 

[catch99]

I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

Have you ever tried seeing a psychiatrist? It can be very therapeutic to talk to someone. There is no shame in seeking a therapist/psychiatrist.

 

[StringPuppet]

I wouldn't be too sure that Hell is permanent, plenty of theologians have come to the conclusion that Hell isn't permanent based on their interpretation of the Bible

Christian universalism - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[WornOutLife]

I guess being scared of hell is certainly a problem.

I understand how you feel because I was raised as a Catholic and I was really afraid of going to hell.

Fortunately, reading about different religions and science, opened my mind and now I'll just welcome death with my arms open. No fear at all.

Anyway, I'm really sorry you're suffering like this. This world is certainly a cruel and unfair place.

 

[rs929]

There is nothing for me in this world or life.

I'm fucked up. Easily paranoid. Easily upset. I haven't been a good person.

My family is messed up. I don't even have a shot at life and nothing interests me at all. I'll admit I'm pretty selfish person. I don't fit in anywhere. And I have no one. I can't trust anyone not even myself.

I don't want to be an elderly person or an old woman. I'm scared of pain. I want to order N I'm wondering if one bottle would be enough or if I'd have to drink two?

I'm completely terrified of what comes after I'm scared of going to hell. I'm really really scared of hell. But if I keep living maybe I'll go there anyways? Truthfully I wish I had never been born. I just want to drink N and drift off to sleep and never wake up...

I've been putting it off because of how scared I am of hell and because I know it's a permanent thing and that I'll never see my boyfreind or dog again and that he will move on with his life and meet someone else and they'll take my place with my dog.

But I know I have to do it.

Also trust me on this, if you were an authentic narcissist you would never say "I'm a pretty selfish person". You would say "I should start looking more after myself"

 

[GreenTree]

In Hell the pubs are open. Get in. Religion is scaremongering when talking about hell. Not a nice thing to do really. I think we've all tried are best to live righteous lives yet still get threatened with hell. Pretty fucked up really.

 

[Sslsh]

If hell did exist, it would be right here, right now. There's nothing worse than the sufferings of life. Organised religion is the biggest scam ever by pro-lifers