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VentingIt's really hard not being able to tell my friends about my plans to ctb
Thread starterPenPen<3
Start date
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I wish I could talk to my friends about ctb but I know it would be really difficult for them to hear. I don't want them to have to think about me dying, and if they do know ab my plans they'll either stop me or feel terrible if I succeed knowing they could've done something.
Reactions:
bl33ding_heart, bpdscared9, apearl and 1 other person
I totally get that, my friends know I'm pretty suicidal (not the full extent) so I've tried my best to make sure my friends won't blame themselves. It would be nice if I could talk with them uncensored but I really don't want to hurt them
I totally get it, my best friend is very strong about it. He's been with me since I was a teenager and he always heard about my suicidal ideation for so long, even when I tried to attempt, he guided me through just to avoid CTB, which is very successful but I obviously feel like a burden to him when I have to be very open about this, I think both situations has their cons and pros about it but I'm so sorry you're going through all of this pain completely alone, OP. We're here to help you and listen to you.
I can relate. I indirectly told my friend that I want to kill myself, and she told me that she wants to keep me alive for as long as possible and that I can always rant to her. But that makes me feel so guilty; I know I will be overwhelming if I open my heart out, but some people around me are actually concerned. I will be such a disappointment.
i have a friend who kinda knows i'm suicidal though he doesn't know i actually plan too. he's suicidal too though how he talks about seems like he doesn't plan to though i could be wrong. i don't know if him having the desire would mean I could talk to him about this or not.
I totally get it, my best friend is very strong about it. He's been with me since I was a teenager and he always heard about my suicidal ideation for so long, even when I tried to attempt, he guided me through just to avoid CTB, which is very successful but I obviously feel like a burden to him when I have to be very open about this, I think both situations has their cons and pros about it but I'm so sorry you're going through all of this pain completely alone, OP. We're here to help you and listen to you.
I can relate. I indirectly told my friend that I want to kill myself, and she told me that she wants to keep me alive for as long as possible and that I can always rant to her. But that makes me feel so guilty; I know I will be overwhelming if I open my heart out, but some people around me are actually concerned. I will be such a disappointment.
If I had a plan to ctb, I wouldn't speak about it to any friend that I know will try to stop me because:
- that friend will try to stop me, which will make my situation worse.
- that friend wouldn't feel guilty when I ctb simply because he didn't know I was going to do that. No one feels guilty because he couldn't prevent an event he wasn't even aware it will happen.
I didn't tell him my plans, but I talked about suicide several times with my friend. Last week he told me that I was always bringing him down and that this friendship was bad for him. I didn't speak to him again after that.
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