DezDestiny
Member
- May 30, 2024
- 10
My boyfriend is leaving me even though he cheated on me and I stayed and I know I self sabotage sometimes but I can't help it it's my bpd and I just want to know I am cared but I feel so hollow inside I'm so tired of trying I wanted to live I pictured a future it was so vague but just being able to see a glimpse of it with him was enough to refund sn countless times but it's done he hates me I sabotaged again because I felt so alone now he's going for good he said he hates me he told me to kill myself he would never say it to those other girls he barely knows my heart feels so heavy in my chest I went to the gun store to look at guns today for the first time but the idea of using a huge shotgun on myself is so intimidating and also way more expensive than an so think I'll just kill myself I only wanted to live for him he was the only decent thing that came out of my dhittyclike but hey guess he can't say($3 the same guess I'm just nothing these I'll die I'm sorry I'm sorry to everyone I'll miss my family I'm never see my sister grow up I'll always be younger than them I just wanna die I wish I never refunded the an I wish I took it while I had the chance I wish someone would love me and fill the void in my heart but it's a ficking fantasy and I'm so pathetic for thinking anyone could ever love alone whose been broke since childhood like me I'll die and I'll be forgotten and everyone will regret how they treated me I did so much to change I lost so much weight but I'm still not enough I'm still ugly and useless and I'll die ugly and useless and nobody will care but maybe someday they'll think of me and wonder how life could be for the both of us I had so much plans it's a:7-&3 nothing will ever come of them I'll miss my baby sister so much I'll miss being able to breathe I hate my life I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it it's over it's over it's over I can't keep doing this I can't I can't I can't I can't it's torture I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm buying the an no second thoughts I have to be serious this time or the pain will come back later I wish I was loved please don't forget me cuck my life fuck my life I wish I was never born I have nothing now everyone is gone it's just me now
