Venting its only 2am

[Life_and_Death]

ive only been 'up' for an hour. i slept periodically, meaning i woke up a lot and technically didnt sleep even WITH a melatonin. then i get up and i cant find any socks (i have some now but 1 has a hole in it .) i then go to get breakfast and i dont have enough milk for my cereal so i just put it back. so far the only good thing about this hour is the girls didnt stress me out over feeding. flora tried once but i think shes getting the idea thats not her bowl. she wasnt too long moving after realizing i was checking on her.

please dont let today get any worse. individually it hasnt been that bad but all within an hour and my bpd



which is a quick other thing i want to point out/talk about.
QUALIFIER - im talking about ME so if you get offended by anything i say, i cant help you because im not even talking about you so chill
its almost like (as in the vibe i get from people) that people think bpd is like ptsd. ptsd is an up and down problem. some days i remember more then others. some days are worse then others, but bpd thats just a thing. its a constant, effect every last little thing problem. there are no ups and downs, its just there. its a personality disorder, does your personality change? no, well neither does mine. (its more complicated then "it doesnt change" but for the overall problem, it doesnt)

idk why i felt the need to say that. idk if its me, you guys, or my husband, but i just wanted to make that clear, its just a thing thats always there effecting everything.

"dont bury me, faceless enemy"

 

[MYStERY_Man]

Mood. I was tired and went to bed earlier, thinking I'd sleep the whole night. But here I am. I really should resume that plan, though... Monday seems like a bad day to mess it all up.

So you were going to eat some cereal and changed your mind. Are you hungry? Maybe that milk is enough for French toast? Idk.

 

[Life_and_Death]

So you were going to eat some cereal and changed your mind. Are you hungry? Maybe that milk is enough for French toast? Idk.

im almost always hungry. ive got work in a little bit anyway, ill just eat when i get home in a few hours maybe. thank you for your concern theres always toast and pb if im interested but i just feel so blah this morning.

I was tired and went to bed earlier, thinking I'd sleep the whole night. But here I am. I really should resume that plan, though... Monday seems like a bad day to mess it all up.

well arent we starting the week off 'well' . get some sleep for me too lol

 

[TriggerHappy]

Insomniacs of the world unite!! Recovery has been so rough :: I work on the farm from 5am - 7pm :: pretty much till I'm as delirious as the animals I care for // not complaining they keep me away from darklyshining runaway thoughts. And then I can't fkg sleep no matter how xhausted I am :: apocalyptic dreams with angels pluckin the spirits of the dead from volcanic ash (roll up 2026) fkg awful... I speak / see spirits so this one has me shattered / I thought best friends dying from covid was bad enuff. Ptsd!? Like a horror movie seeing things that aren't really there again! Again apologies for the overshare :: like the avatar picture guess we all hunted by sumthin... stay strong.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I work on the farm from 5am - 7pm :: pretty much till I'm as delirious as the animals I care for // not complaining they keep me away from darklyshining runaway thoughts.

Yeah i work from about 2am until whenever works over. Thankfully thats only a few hours but last year? A couple years ago? There was this one day we were out for 24hrs. (Not impressed lol)

apocalyptic dreams with angels pluckin the spirits of the dead from volcanic ash (roll up 2026) fkg awful... I speak / see spirits so this one has me shattered /

On paper the angel thing seems cool but when youre the one going through it, yeah so not cool.

I thought best friends dying from covid was bad enuff

Ptsd!? Like a horror movie seeing things that aren't really there again!

That explanation reminds me of my hallucinations

Again apologies for the overshare

No need for apologies. This is one of those times where i dont mind (which reminds me about the suggestion on sharing tags).

like the avatar picture guess we all hunted by sumthin

Youve lived in a bubble if you dont have something haunting you lol.

stay strong.

Thnx i try you too
@MYStERY_Man just thought id let you know that hubby took me to BK and i ate half a burger