• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

nails

nails

Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
250
i keep getting everything i want and more, but i still feel empty. i want more.
i get the attention that i crave, so much that it overwhelms me; but i want more. i get the grades i want, but i want them to be higher. i have people who care but i want them to somehow care more. i get the praises that i want, but i want more. i develop and adhere to a schedule that is optimal for improving productivity and my mental state, but it's never optimal enough. i lose a ridiculous amount of weight, but i need to lose more. i'm considered the best in a room, but i need to be even better. i complete every assignment and chore that needed to be completed, but i want to feel more productive. i'm considered someone's favorite person, but i need to mean even more to them.

i think i've always been this way.

nothing will ever be enough to make me happy or even content. it's so tiring, i want to get rid of this selfish, gluttonous mind. i can't live like this.
i am just doomed to be depressed. i've been getting nearly everything that i swore could make me happier, but it never feels like i'm getting enough of it.

i tried to think out all of my deepest issues and pinpoint the main factors for my misery, but it doesn't matter. even with nearly every single one of those factors gone/improved, i just feel so much worse.

i want to die. this life is too much. i've been experiencing so many physical symptoms from my horrible mental state. everything hurts, my whole body and mind are in so much pain. i feel so sick and dizzy all of the time. i just want it to be over.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Surai and HiImMisanthrope

Similar threads

moodrings
Replies
1
Views
158
Suicide Discussion
nowherelilies
nowherelilies
Darkover
Replies
12
Views
294
Suicide Discussion
wham311
W
depthss
Replies
2
Views
123
Suicide Discussion
Ch4in3dcr0w
Ch4in3dcr0w
knivesandcuddles
Replies
0
Views
100
Suicide Discussion
knivesandcuddles
knivesandcuddles
Cauliflour
Replies
6
Views
305
Suicide Discussion
Cauliflour
Cauliflour