Story It's been a year, and I'm still here?!

[FadingSnowFake]

A whole year and I'm thinking that I just cannot do another year like this. So why am I still here? Wtf even. A year of thinking about dying, of surviving for whatever reason in this nightmare of wrongness. I feel like I need to apologise for still being here, for turning into a whiner, instead of someone saying goodbye already. Thanks for keeping up with me, and thanks for being a part of my world.

Best of luck to everyone.

 

[eternalpace]

No need to apologize... My attempt at partial hanging failed several year ago and, needless to say, I'm still here. Sometimes things don't work as planned. The past few years have helped confirm that my decision to CTB is the right one... and the time has given me an opportunity to research and select a different method that should be successful this time.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

No need to apologize... My attempt at partial hanging failed several year ago and, needless to say, I'm still here. Sometimes things don't work as planned. The past few years have helped confirm that my decision to CTB is the right one... and the time has given me an opportunity to research and select a different method that should be successful this time.

I just came back to this thread after thinking maybe I'm reaching my time or coming to the point where I need to realise that I have to accept that it's time soon. I read your reply again, and it makes sense to me more now, that time confirms a decision (or not). Thank you, and I'm sorry to hear about your decision being confirmed. Do you have a specific timeframe in mind this time and which method did you change to, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[fkyou]

Same weird how I wanted to die but I pass a whole ass year like nothing didn't even how fast those months went by its very hard to me to finally hang myself wish I could be gone in a switch of a button

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Same weird how I wanted to die but I pass a whole ass year like nothing didn't even how fast those months went by its very hard to me to finally hang myself wish I could be gone in a switch of a button

Time really flew by, and it's almost as if some months are blank now, like did it even happen? Feels like I was on autopilot most of the time in a weird unreality. How do you feel now compared to the beginning of the year?

 

[Alpacachino]

You know, I've thought about this. Let's say I use this site for the next three years. Will others look at me like a Fake person because I've spent so long on this website?

The thing is, this site is meant for information and discourse. That's what I'm using it for. And if you're trying to recover, that's an even more important reason to be here than trying to take your own life. So there's nothing wrong in you being here for a long time. In fact, the longer the better.

 

[fkyou]

Time really flew by, and it's almost as if some months are blank now, like did it even happen? Feels like I was on autopilot most of the time in a weird unreality. How do you feel now compared to the beginning of the year?

How do I feel? I get worse the depression gets worse I'm very sad today

 

[FadingSnowFake]

How do I feel? I get worse the depression gets worse I'm very sad today

Sad to hear that, I'm also feeling it's getting worse and worse. I hope somehow things take a turn and get better for you. Words just seem so empty. I managed a bit of a good high earlier with weed, but the lows while high tend to be more these days. Still, I feel like I can go somewhere else for a bit when high. Wishing you well

 

[FadingSnowFake]

You know, I've thought about this. Let's say I use this site for the next three years. Will others look at me like a Fake person because I've spent so long on this website?

The thing is, this site is meant for information and discourse. That's what I'm using it for. And if you're trying to recover, that's an even more important reason to be here than trying to take your own life. So there's nothing wrong in you being here for a long time. In fact, the longer the better.

You know, I love this place so much I think that even if I recover (which I'm not seeing now at all), I'd stay here. Because I'll be forever grateful to everyone for being here when I was at my lowest of lowest and every shade of blackness in between from then until now. I'd want to be here, even just as a presence. for someone like me now needing you guys.

 

[Gangrel]

just wanted to say same. still here, hello peeps