It doesn't get better and I'm still here for no reason

[Aboutblue]

Does anyone else find that they have no reason or wish to live but they're still here and they don't know why. I have SN sitting in my cart and I still can't buy it.

I'm so depressed and miserable every single day. I miss my ex more than anything in the world. Being loved made life bearable. Now she wants nothing to do with me and will never speak to me again. It's been a whole year and it doesn't stop hurting.

Why can't I just sign something saying I want to die and someone just does it for me? I'm stuck in this endless misery with no way out. This is torture.

I need to jump. Why can't I just jump. Or hire a hitman. Seriously why isn't there a helpful hitman I can hire (alliteration ftw).

Life is awful and so is SI.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I am only still here as ctb is very difficult for me and there is the fear of failing the method. I have never wanted to live and there is nothing that could ever make me want to stay alive, my life is just suffering for the sake of it. If it was easier to leave, I would already be gone, and I know that it is horrible wanting to leave this world so badly yet feeling as though you are unable to.

I'm sorry that you are in this situation, this life certainly is awful, and I know that it can be unbearable living such a miserable existence. I wish that there was a way to peacefully pass away without having to go through the process of planning ctb, all that I want is to be gone. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.