Isolation driving me to the edge.

[Weightoftheworld]

I've been on isolation for almost 3 weeks now because someone close to be tested positive for covid and I've had symptoms (still negative unfortunately) but being isolated is making the urge so unbearable. I was able to distract myself with work and shopping and whatnot beforehand but now I've been stuck at home for weeks doing only contactless pickup and all I want is to CTB. It doesn't help my job isn't paying me while I'm out and told me to file for unemployment which is a joke now because the good benefits for that ended. I went back to a side hustle of selling pictures and stuff since I make good money at it, but it makes me feel worse about myself. Shooting has never been my preferred method but if I had a gun I would take that out without any hesitation.
I feel crazy for feeling crazy because I've always been a hermit but I guess I've never truly been this secluded. Even if I don't interact with people I've still always been able to at least go out and shop and stuff.
Life doesn't feel worth it anymore. Taking almost a dozen pills a day at my age, being told I can't do this or that, constantly worrying when I feel even slightly off, this just isn't want I wanted.
Sorry for the ramble. I'm just hating myself today.