Help Is this normal? Why does this happen?

[decayofangels]

This is partially a vent/question but I'm curious as to if other people do this.
I want something bad to happen to me so people care for me. Not in a way of like that I'm dying, but I want something terrible to happen to me so that somebody sits next to me and gives me a hug and tells me it'll be okay. I genuinely hate myself for this, because it feels really selfish to feel like this. Is this normal? Does literally anyone else feel this way? Is it selfish?
I know I can just ask people for a hug or something but it doesn't feel the same.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

For me it's the difference between "normal" interaction and being truly seen. Where for once I want a response from someone that matches what I actually feel on the inside. Resonance.

I ask myself if no one cared or paid attention to me after something happened, would I still want the bad to happen?
Or if someone gave me what I needed (like all humans need attention and have social needs met) and I would feel seen and cared for, would I then still want the bad to happen as well?

Can't say if it's the same for you though

Plus, having to ask is by definition different from people showing they care and they'll stand with you without prompting. One of the things creating a reaction like that is getting seriously ill, or something with big consequences. That's the way our society largely works unfortunately. So it would make sense that your brains would find ways to give you the same feeling of being cared for by any fantasy possible.
Or that's at least my theory.

Not selfish. Possibly just means you don't get your needs met on some level?

 

[suicidal jirai]

This is partially a vent/question but I'm curious as to if other people do this.
I want something bad to happen to me so people care for me. Not in a way of like that I'm dying, but I want something terrible to happen to me so that somebody sits next to me and gives me a hug and tells me it'll be okay. I genuinely hate myself for this, because it feels really selfish to feel like this. Is this normal? Does literally anyone else feel this way? Is it selfish?
I know I can just ask people for a hug or something but it doesn't feel the same.

Maybe it's because of something like, due to your needs not being met, or only being met when something bad happens, you feel that the only way people truly care is when something bad happens? Or at least, that's my experience,, but maybe you feel the same for the same or maybe different reasons.

 

[decayofangels]

Maybe it's because of something like, due to your needs not being met, or only being met when something bad happens, you feel that the only way people truly care is when something bad happens? Or at least, that's my experience,, but maybe you feel the same for the same or maybe different reasons.

On a normal basis I get my needs met, or at least I think I do, but it feels the same as if they weren't. I'm pretty sure it's just my brain being a bit annoying. I get my needs met, so I don't know what to do with the feeling of wanting more. I don't need anymore which leaves me confused.

 

[suicidal jirai]

On a normal basis I get my needs met, or at least I think I do, but it feels the same as if they weren't. I'm pretty sure it's just my brain being a bit annoying. I get my needs met, so I don't know what to do with the feeling of wanting more. I don't need anymore which leaves me confused.

Could emotional and physical needs be different perhaps, or perhaps it could be loneliness?

 

[decayofangels]

Could emotional and physical needs be different perhaps, or perhaps it could be loneliness?

I think it might be a combination of things, I feel lonely a lot even while surrounded by people. I don't know how to fix it, because I know I'm not alone. I think emotional and physical needs are and a completely different scale, but I've gotten a grasp on that one. I have no clue what's wrong with me.

 

[Droso]

Normal human stuff. When I was a young kid I would fantasize about this.