is there a way to be sure that suicide is my only option?

[bianglala]

Exactly like the title said. Last night I was wondering if maybe there are just Something I haven't tried. Some coping mechanisms, some new food, maybe some new friends. I can't really talk about my whole situations cause it's kind of long, but often I feel like I'm just prolonging my pain, that ultimately there is no hope for someone like me here. Thought about killing myself last night then I stopped and wonder if maybe I'm thinking a little rushed. I know how pathetic I must sound right now, but I also got scared a little about the idea of actually doing it, bypassing my survival instinct and actually do it. I imagined the blood, I imagined someone finding me. I'm not that religious but in my mind, it feels like death is not the end. It felt like when I do die, I would be able to witness how that affects people around me, and that's just something I don't want to deal with. What makes you sure that death is your only option? How can I be sure?

I have periods of happiness. I have periods of depression. Sometimes when I do feel depressed it makes me realize that all the happiness I have felt were nothing but scraps.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

The answer is incredibly simple. If suicide is your best option (not your only option), you won't be confused or questioning or wondering because you will simply KNOW. The way to be sure is being sure.

 

[Manfrotto99]

When you've exhausted all options that you have at your disposal....and there are absolutely no options left...then you have no regrets and know it to be the only way.

 

[kipper]

i think if you are unsure and feel there is something more to do out there, go seek out that something more. try new things, see where it takes you.

 

[yui.]

The feeling is different for everyone. Some people feel at peace when they realize that it's time to go. Some people will feel overwhelmed by their emotions. Some people will even feel relived when they finally make the decision.

For me, I no longer find any enjoyment in anything in life. Food doesn't have much taste to me. I don't find any joy in reading, watching movies, or playing games. I know that if I stick around, it's just going to prolong my misery and suffering. I also strongly feel that I don't want things to get better for myself. I just want to find a peaceful end. I'm still looking for a reliable way to ctb. I hope we all find peace soon.

 

[name2come]

Exactly like the title said. Last night I was wondering if maybe there are just Something I haven't tried. Some coping mechanisms, some new food, maybe some new friends. I can't really talk about my whole situations cause it's kind of long, but often I feel like I'm just prolonging my pain, that ultimately there is no hope for someone like me here. Thought about killing myself last night then I stopped and wonder if maybe I'm thinking a little rushed. I know how pathetic I must sound right now, but I also got scared a little about the idea of actually doing it, bypassing my survival instinct and actually do it. I imagined the blood, I imagined someone finding me. I'm not that religious but in my mind, it feels like death is not the end. It felt like when I do die, I would be able to witness how that affects people around me, and that's just something I don't want to deal with. What makes you sure that death is your only option? How can I be sure?

I have periods of happiness. I have periods of depression. Sometimes when I do feel depressed it makes me realize that all the happiness I have felt were nothing but scraps.

I mean, there is no definitive answer to this. There is no worksheet we can fill out to find out if we really do need to CTB. We have to think about whether this is really what's best for us, and that's not always easy.

That's okay, though. It's okay to not be sure and for most of us, we have some flexibility to decide when we do it. That's something we should always take advantage of. Please don't rush yourself. Try your best not to put yourself into a position where you don't have a choice. I try to live each day like I'm not planning on ending things, because maybe I won't. I don't want to get stuck because I took it for granted that I'd CTB.

The first time I thought about suicide was over 30 years ago. I'm grateful for those 30 years. Not everything was great, obviously, but I don't regret giving it more time. Trying to see if I could figure out a sustainable and happy life. I don't think ending up back here is a failure or a waste. I'm glad I tried, disappointed I couldn't make it work, and still ready to have my mind changed even as the lights start to dim. This is a huge decision and the idea is that we only get to make it once. It's important to feel it's the right decision and to give yourself the space to get to that point.