Is there a point at which you understand that nothing will be okay anymore?

[darkwater]

I always thought that when a few years had passed, I could live normally again. But I am now in my mid-30s and I have understood that I wasted the best years of my life. I can't even go to the bus stop and panic and watch everyone I come across. And I understood that this would continue for the next 10 years.

 

[Dolunay]

Definitely. At some point, regardless of your age and what everybody says, you reach the conclusion that you're broken beyond repair and that no matter what you do, nothing will get better.

Time does NOT heal all wounds, and if you feel like you wasted the best years of your life (just like myself) and you've been through much more than you can virtually bear, going forward would be pointless, in my humble opinion. It would be like trying to build a castle in the air. It will collapse before you even start to actually build it, because there's no foundation, there's nothing that can stand it (a stable, trauma free life and the willingness/motivation to move on).

It's our choice if we want to keep on living, with the awareness that our future will be miserable, or if we want to stop right here. I'll go with the latter, and I couldn't care less if people will criticize me and will consider that I wasn't strong enough and that I should've tried harder. They haven't been through what we've been through, period. :)

Hugs!

 

[electrojellysoup]

I haven't reached that point yet but I think about it a lot. I read personal stories on Reddit from people who are 40, 50, 70 saying they've been suffering their whole lives to mental illness. Some people just don't get better. I wonder what path I'll end up going down.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I've realized that some things will never get better or be the same as before. However, not all of them.

For instance, I can't be 20 again but I can improve my economical situation if I work and study harder.

That's why I haven't ctb yet, I guess. There's still a small piece of hope.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes. I can relate to this. I am young and I already have chronic health problems. This is bound to get worse as I get older. I was never suited for this life anyway so it was always inevitable that i'd reach my downfall. My future seems so empty and hollow on this earth with the thoughts of non existence providing comfort.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

yeah. at first its kinda hard to accept but once you do it is a really cathartic feeling (for me at least)

 

[floofhook]

I've always felt hopeless. I know that even if circumstances change and even if I get every single thing I want in life it's not gonna make me happy and content, because I'll always carry the baggage of where I came from with me.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I reached that point many years ago. Virtually everything since then has been dragged along.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

From 20 onwards has been a complete disaster and waste of time for me. Killing me wouldn't even class as murder as I'm barely a real person, I don't do anything a normal person does, I would be missed by maybe 2 people max. I wish I could have just been a small child for my entire life.