Is it possible to tell if someone will grieve or not?

[WiltedSoul]

My mother hates the shit out of me; it's not even possible to say a few words in passing, "hey, there are ants in the kitchen", to her without receiving a rude, beyond irritated response even though I never talk to her unless I have to for some reason. I don't have anyone else and I can't help but wonder if she'd even grieve at all after I ctb considering how she treats me while I'm alive.

Is this kind of thing predictable at all? She was affected by her father's death and she's cried for friends that she wasn't very close to, but she didn't actively dislike those people. I'm going to ctb regardless so it's better this way, I guess.

 

[simulatingpenfart]

My mother hates the shit out of me; it's not even possible to say a few words in passing, "hey, there are ants in the kitchen", to her without receiving a rude, beyond irritated response even though I never talk to her unless I have to for some reason. I don't have anyone else and I can't help but wonder if she'd even grieve at all after I ctb considering how she treats me while I'm alive.

Is this kind of thing predictable at all? She was affected by her father's death and she's cried for friends that she wasn't very close to, but she didn't actively dislike those people. I'm going to ctb regardless so it's better this way, I guess.

I can relate with having a mom who doesn't like me, and wondering whether or not she would even care. For me at least she would probably cry at the funeral and then forget my existence beyond a few choice days like memorial day.

And to address your question, it's hard to know how a person will react, but past deaths are probably the best predictor like you mentioned. Regardless of the bond a person had when alive, the level of grief could probably be inferred from their personality and temperament. She'd probably be affected similarly, as truth be told even a poor bond between mother and son would probably elicit more grief than that of a not so close friend.

And for those of us in this situation it seems like it's a win-win either way. Either mom is hurt by the death, like they hurt us while we were alive. Or we are dead and they can't hurt us anymore.

 

[demuic]

To me, concerning some people in my life, I don't care at all. If it is hard to tell if someone actually cares beyond the obligatory "bond" of familiar relations, I lean to the conclusion that they don't give a shit. "Grief" and crocodile tears after death mean nothing if you refused to treat someone like a human being or remember their existence while they were alive. That's my viewpoint.