Is it possible to like the idea of sex but hate the reality of it?

[Weebster]

It's been awhile since I've had sex so I'm curious how my ocd will respond to it. I hope my ocd ruins it then I can swear off the whole thing once and for all. I'll be able to see an attractive woman in public and feel nothing.

 

[karasu]

I think I can relate. I feel like I like the idea of sex and reading smut is something I enjoy from time to time. But when I'm actually engaged in the act in real life, at the end, I feel like it leaves me with a bit of an empty feeling. Like there's something missing? And that it's never as good as I imagine it could be. I also don't really enjoy the clean up afterwards.

 

[Weebster]

I think I can relate. I feel like I like the idea of sex and reading smut is something I enjoy from time to time. But when I'm actually engaged in the act in real life, at the end, I feel like it leaves me with a bit of an empty feeling. Like there's something missing? And that it's never as good as I imagine it could be. I also don't really enjoy the clean up afterwards.

Before I ctb, I need to have sex at least one more time for closure. I remember not liking it much before even though I was super turned on

 

[karasu]

Before I ctb, I need to have sex at least one more time for closure. I remember not liking it much before even though I was super turned on

Yes, I think that would probably be a good idea, just to see again what it feels like. For me, I think I only like it close to climax and then immediately after (and before), it feels meh.

 

[Weebster]

Yes, I think that would probably be a good idea, just to see again what it feels like. For me, I think I only like it close to climax and then immediately after (and before), it feels meh.

It feels meh after or overall? The last time I remember lasting an hour and I was so bored even though she was so hot. It turned me off sex for years. I hope the next time is disappointing. Then I can ctb because i'll have nothing to look forward to anymore.

 

[karasu]

It feels meh after or overall? The last time I remember lasting an hour and I was so bored even though she was so hot. It turned me off sex for years. I hope the next time is disappointing. Then I can ctb because i'll have nothing to look forward to anymore.

I think overall it feels meh. And wow yeah an hour is pretty long. It's probably partly boredom for me too that I feel meh in general. Perhaps it's better if it's more to the point and you can get it done quicker so there's less of a chance you get bored?

 

[Weebster]

I think overall it feels meh. And wow yeah an hour is pretty long. It's probably partly boredom for me too that I feel meh in general. Perhaps it's better if it's more to the point and you can get it done quicker so there's less of a chance you get bored?

This is why porn is bad. It gave me an expectation. I can only have sex with attractive women. I can attract them, but my options for finding them isn't like years ago.

The boredom comes from how repetitive it is. In out, in out...And for some reason my energy is sapped when it's about to begin, so my performance is affected. That could be a result of the sex trauma I experienced as a child.

 

[karasu]

This is why porn is bad. It gave me an expectation. I can only have sex with attractive women. I can attract them, but my options for finding them isn't like years ago.

The boredom comes from how repetitive it is. In out, in out...And for some reason my energy is sapped when it's about to begin, so my performance is affected. That could be a result of the sex trauma I experienced as a child.

Yeah, especially with how accessible porn is and how it's evolved to what it is now…it seems so many people have been negatively effected. I am sorry to hear that you've experienced sex trauma as a child. That may likely be part of the reason for what you feel towards sex too.

 

[Weebster]

Yeah, especially with how accessible porn is and how it's evolved to what it is now…it seems so many people have been negatively effected. I am sorry to hear that you've experienced sex trauma as a child. That may likely be part of the reason for what you feel towards sex too.

Thank you. It would explain why I crave it badly but hate it?

 

[karasu]

Thank you. It would explain why I crave it badly but hate it?

Yes, that can be likely. I experienced many instances of what I would call sexual harassment while growing up but not really something I think can be considered as trauma? Now that I think about it like that, the harassment most likely plays a part in how I view sex and how I see my value as a woman as well.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Yeah I feel like that.
I just can't imagine being intimate with people. I have no trust in ppl.

 

[Ashu]

It's been awhile since I've had sex so I'm curious how my ocd will respond to it. I hope my ocd ruins it then I can swear off the whole thing once and for all. I'll be able to see an attractive woman in public and feel nothing.

So you know you're going to be having sex with someone? I hope you can have an epiphany of togetherness with your partner. I was labelled as severely obsessive in my teens and twenties, but the escape from the hell of solitude through the union of lovemaking was so fundamentally important and salvific to me that my obsessionality miraculously never overcame my potency.

 

[gogoprince]

I get the porn thing definitely. Porn misses the tactile aspects of real sex as well as sweat, smelliness, etc. So it can feel more enticing to have sex on our own terms, in a less awkward fashion too: no farts, no "could we switch positions?", no over-exhaustion. Also without the potential embarrassment of losing your erection, cumming too quick, etc. which are all natural things that happen every now and then.
Also the way sex is depicted in porn is super hetero-normative: penetration is the end all be all and when the guy cums: sex is over. If penetration is all there is too, then its seemingly more important if the penis is as big as possible and that the man is the one who produces pleasure - which is a lot of pressure, if you ask me, when 99.9% of female orgasms are clitoral.

 

[Weebster]

So you know you're going to be having sex with someone? I hope you can have an epiphany of togetherness with your partner. I was labelled as severely obsessive in my teens and twenties, but the escape from the hell of solitude through the union of lovemaking was so fundamentally important and salvific to me that my obsessionality miraculously never overcame my potency.

If I really tried, I could have sex. The effort sounds exhausting.

I get the porn thing definitely. Porn misses the tactile aspects of real sex as well as sweat, smelliness, etc. So it can feel more enticing to have sex on our own terms, in a less awkward fashion too: no farts, no "could we switch positions?", no over-exhaustion. Also without the potential embarrassment of losing your erection, cumming too quick, etc. which are all natural things that happen every now and then.
Also the way sex is depicted in porn is super hetero-normative: penetration is the end all be all and when the guy cums: sex is over. If penetration is all there is too, then its seemingly more important if the penis is as big as possible and that the man is the one who produces pleasure - which is a lot of pressure, if you ask me, when 99.9% of female orgasms are clitoral.

Why does the erection disappear sometimes? Mine disappeared after an hour last time and I never finished. The girl was offended lol

 

[UnwantedUnlovable85]

Na, sex is one of those things that never bores me. When I'm depressed or suicidal I usually masturbate, personally I prefer sex as I'm always finding new ways to be stimulated as well as stimulate

 

[Ashu]

If I really tried, I could have sex. The effort sounds exhausting.

Why does the erection disappear sometimes? Mine disappeared after an hour last time and I never finished. The girl was offended lol

Loss of interest, loss of desire, loss of the sense that you're on your way to orgasm. I'm wondering if you were on an SSRI antidepressant that delayed orgasm. During one of the brief periods when I succumbed to the pressure to take those poisons, I was making love with my girl and went soft when I realized that orgasm was hopelessly out of reach. I never took another pill of that shit, Zoloft or the like, and when we made love the next day I was able to come again.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I enjoy certain aspects of sex but cringe at the thought of others, but finding a female who feels the same way is well you probably have more chance of winning the lottery than finding a female who is the same character type as yourself!

 

[lofticries]

I just gotta find someone who has the same kinks as me and I'll be satisfied.