Venting Introducing myself

[Vulpix]

I'm not sure what I'm doing here. I don't want to die, but I feel like my life is meaningless and that everyone would be better off if I wasn't around. I'm unemployed and have been for months, I've had a lot of interviews but I can't get my foot in the door. I've never had this problem before, it's always been easy for me to find another job.

I'm married, and my husband is struggling to keep us both afloat. He's so stressed and I know I'm the reason. He's so sweet and kind and funny and it's breaking my heart to see him so miserable because of me. I'm dragging him down with me.

One of my closest friends just asked me to stop asking her to hang out. That really fucking hurt. I told her I would drive to her house and we could just watch movies but she said no. I haven't talked to her in weeks and she doesn't seem to care how I'm doing. I'm so confused, because a few months ago she poured her heart out to me saying that she feels like she hasn't been a good enough friend to me and she wanted to put more effort into our friendship.

I feel like things aren't going to get better. Every day I wake up and feel guilty for being alive, but I don't want to die. I think I'm selfish that way. I'm not sure what to do, a part of me wishes i could run away and live in a cave somewhere where i can just be a fuck up without hurting anyone else. Anyways, thanks for reading all of this. I hope everyone else feels OK.

 

[imissmycat]

I read the post for what it's worth. It's a tricky situation. A lot of people struggle to get jobs, maybe especially right now it seems. Don't know if you want advice but keep trying, try to find things to do. In an ideal world we'd all work out and learn a new skill when we're unemployed but life isn't that easy. Maybe switch off the smartphone and live in the real world for a while? It works.

 

[Gangrel]

Maybe try applying for some low icome jobs first so you can help easy out the strain?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I'm in the exact same situation re finding work, I've been applying for months with no luck. It's so hard to feel stuck like that. We're here for you. <3

 

[sugarb]

Wish you luck and hope everything turns out ok.

 

[Parnate]

If rest of the things are fine and being unemployed is the only issue, please dont do it, I mean I know it affects everything else but hopefully it is temporary and you will find a job soon. Wish you good luck

 

[Ol Messier 87]

For what my opinion is worth, which isn't much, and if, as you said so yourself, you "don't want to die", then don't do it. If it's a question of personal guilt due to a temporary situation, then don't do it. Because I completely understand that you may feel ashamed of this situation in relation to your husband, but if I've read you correctly it seems that he cares a lot about you, and I think he would rather you be alive and unemployed for a certain period, rather than gone forever. And so would you, right ?
I know it's not that simple of course, but I've seen people commit suicide for little things like that (and even way more insignificant) that would have solved themselves with just a little time, so yeah... You'll find a job.
Good luck !