Interview shame

[Damian2102]

Today I had an interview. Two men above 1.80m tall and 1.60m me. I felt like a human trash, altough they were very kind and didn't laugh at me. And today even 1.80m is not so much for some European countries. It's possible that someone taller will get that job, I don't know. Additionally to a height, recently I discovered that I'm struggling with receding hairline as well, at the age of 20 haha. Actually, I don't know what should I do. From day to day I'm losing my confidence. In my current job, there are 4 girls working, similar age to mine. Neither of those 4 didn't talk to me about things other than job-related. Let me die.

 

[Sebuet]

If it's any help, I'm considered tall to very tall depending on where you're from, never had a job ever, very poor social skills and post here just like you. Trash is trash regardless of how high you stack it.

 

[Damian2102]

If it's any help, I'm considered tall to very tall depending on where you're from, never had a job ever, very poor social skills and post here just like you. Trash is trash regardless of how high you stack it.

In theory, you could get a job (if you are not disabled, of course) and gain some social skills. What is your problem then?

 

[stankboy421]

Unless the job is professional basketball or security I don't think that your height would have anything to do with anything.

Sounds like you are super insecure about your appearance, I'm sorry about that, it's not easy to be different but the right people wouldn't give a toss about your receding hairline. Decent people are not concerned with superficial matters like that in their friendships. Fuck 'em if they are, they're bad people.

 

[Damian2102]

Unless the job is professional basketball or security I don't think that your height would have anything to do with anything.

Sounds like you are super insecure about your appearance, I'm sorry about that, it's not easy to be different but the right people wouldn't give a toss about your receding hairline. Decent people are not concerned with superficial matters like that in their friendships. Fuck 'em if they are, they're bad people.

I just feel entirely different than most people, mainly because of height, not receding headline. You know, when in your country, the average height, let's say, it's 185cm. And then you appear with your magical 160cm. For girls, you basically don't exist. You are like ghost or maybe something even worse, because ghost is all the time unseen, but very short men can sometimes be put down. This is the situation when there is no solution. You can increase your height by 5 cm using proper shoes for example, but it is still not enough.

 

[stankboy421]

I just feel entirely different than most people, mainly because of height, not receding headline. You know, when in your country, the average height, let's say, it's 185cm. And then you appear with your magical 160cm. For girls, you basically don't exist. You are like ghost or maybe something even worse, because ghost is all the time unseen, but very short men can sometimes be put down. This is the situation when there is no solution. You can increase your height by 5 cm using proper shoes for example, but it is still not enough.

I feel that. I'm taller than you at 170 but I still feel extremely short, people regard me as "cute and dinky".... I feel that other men dont respect me. For what it's worth, the right girl wouldn't give a shit about your height either. My brother is about my height and he actually likes tall girls, he seems to find plenty of women who don't mind that he is shorter than them.

I guess what I am saying is don't fixate too much on your height as being the reason you might perceive yourself as being undesirable - there is probably another reason entirely, for example in my experience girls really don't respect men who are not confident in themselves. People in general (not just women) really like it when somebody is comfortable on their own skin because It reassures them that you are not going to be negatively preoccupied with THEIR appearance or their flaws. Do you know what I mean? If a short girl hears you complaining about your own height she might think you will also judge her for her height, or some other part of her body.

I know it is much easier said than done but if you try to focus more on building your character and your self-worth, and doing activities you enjoy and that build your self esteem, than lamenting about your appearance, I feel confident that somebody awesome will come your way. If you work hard on yourself for YOU and stop focussing on the process as a means to gain validation of others this process will be a lot easier.

I hope I didn't offend you at all, I can sometimes be too blunt because I am autistic so I apologise if I said something out of line. I mean only good things for you.

 

[Damian2102]

I feel that. I'm taller than you at 170 but I still feel extremely short, people regard me as "cute and dinky".... I feel that other men dont respect me. For what it's worth, the right girl wouldn't give a shit about your height either. My brother is about my height and he actually likes tall girls, he seems to find plenty of women who don't mind that he is shorter than them.

I guess what I am saying is don't fixate too much on your height as being the reason you might perceive yourself as being undesirable - there is probably another reason entirely, for example in my experience girls really don't respect men who are not confident in themselves. People in general (not just women) really like it when somebody is comfortable on their own skin because It reassures them that you are not going to be negatively preoccupied with THEIR appearance or their flaws. Do you know what I mean? If a short girl hears you complaining about your own height she might think you will also judge her for her height, or some other part of her body.

I know it is much easier said than done but if you try to focus more on building your character and your self-worth, and doing activities you enjoy and that build your self esteem, than lamenting about your appearance, I feel confident that somebody awesome will come your way. If you work hard on yourself for YOU and stop focussing on the process as a means to gain validation of others this process will be a lot easier.

I hope I didn't offend you at all, I can sometimes be too blunt because I am autistic so I apologise if I said something out of line. I mean only good things for you.

Thank you. I know that self-confidence is very important, but there are times when it's REALLY hard to be confident. Complaining does nothing, I know it as well. Maybe girls' preferences depend on a specific country? I don't know. Cycling helps me to forget about my problems, but of course it's impossible to cycle for 24 hours haha...

 

[stankboy421]

Thank you. I know that self-confidence is very important, but there are times when it's REALLY hard to be confident. Complaining does nothing, I know it as well. Maybe girls' preferences depend on a specific country? I don't know. Cycling helps me to forget about my problems, but of course it's impossible to cycle for 24 hours haha...

I agree, and I want to make it clear that I do not adhere to this philosophy very well myself. I would be lying if I said I never indulged in wallowing in self pity, it is much easier to turn our feelings inwards instead of taking on the great existential dilemmas of our world today, or even of our personal situation.

It is hard in this life because we get two different messages from society:

One is that your youth, virility, and appearance, are ALL that we have of value.
The other is that we are all whole, valid human beings and we should never be down on our self because this is bad.

These two messages are completely at odds with each other. We can't just "switch off" our desire for acceptance, because it is culturally ingrained into us from birth. I have only semi-achieved this because I rejected the whole of society to do so, and that of course has terrible ripple effects which almost defeat the purpose. I would not recommend it.

I love cycling, I am jealous. I moved to the windiest city on earth which also has loads of rain, hills, and tiny narrow winding streets, so I don't cycle any more. Send me a good thought next time you're on your bike so I can tag in on the bliss :D

Good luck friend, I hope you find peace in some way or another.

 

[depressed21]

I feel for you. I am barely 5 feet tall. I have to look up at everyone

 

[Damian2102]

I feel for you. I am barely 5 feet tall. I have to look up at everyone

Do you have any advices for me, how do you live and handle your problem?

 

[Kattt]

Today I had an interview. Two men above 1.80m tall and 1.60m me. I felt like a human trash, altough they were very kind and didn't laugh at me. And today even 1.80m is not so much for some European countries. It's possible that someone taller will get that job, I don't know. Additionally to a height, recently I discovered that I'm struggling with receding hairline as well, at the age of 20 haha. Actually, I don't know what should I do. From day to day I'm losing my confidence. In my current job, there are 4 girls working, similar age to mine. Neither of those 4 didn't talk to me about things other than job-related. Let me die.

My brother was competely bald by 20 and owns a successful surveying business. He's on track for his first million so I don't think his hairloss was an issue

 

[depressed21]

Do you have any advices for me, how do you live and handle your problem?

I would love to give you advice but I don't have any

 

[bad luck]

I'm 184 cm tall and my life sucks

 

[OnlyTheWind]

in my experience girls really don't respect men who are not confident in themselves.

Well, I'm fucked then. I consider myself more of a boy than a man anyhow.