eggsausagerice
last chance for cake!
- Apr 21, 2025
- 1,415
i still have my hanging rope in the closet waiting for me, but i also have sn. i know you can combine the methods (drink sn then hang), but it seems less convoluted to do sn. i was also having trouble throwing a rope over a branch last time i tried to attempt hanging outside. one of the things that affected me the most when i was contemplating hanging is trying to find a location and a tree i could hang from in my neighborhood. i thought about it so much that it was hard to focus on my regular life because i would just think about hanging. it was a pretty morbid time in my life, but i enjoyed being out in nature more often even if it was just to look at trees.
i've also thought about jumping from a university building after hearing about the student suicides and visiting it last month, but my fear of heights would probably make me too terrified.
in my head, i was thinking about how i prefer sn to hanging because i'm able to be more comfortable if i'm able to commit suicide while lying down, even if it's outside or in a park somewhere. i do wish that i chose to commit earlier than april so that i could dodge the people in my life's birthdays, but my closest friends' birthdays have passed now, so i have less obligations. when i was practicing hanging in my closet it was really hard to get over the gagging sensation i would get when the rope would press into my neck. i feel like i'd be more eager to do it if i drank, but i would need to drink after i'd already set the rope up in the closet or forest. a lot of people have also talked about how gagging's an issue while practicing partial hanging.
sn seems like an easier method in the sense that it's just fasting for 8 hours and then going somewhere secluded to drink your juice. i can't imagine the pain or taste, but i imagine it's still bad. i do wish there was a way for me to gauge how much pain i would be in because i don't have prescription antiemetics, but i figure that i'll never know until the day i do it. my date got postponed again because of my friend and it almost makes me wish we weren't as close of friends if i've postponed twice for his sake. my family still hates me and thinks i'm a chud, but my sister is moving away for her job so there's going to be an empty spot in the house soon. i blocked her number today because she called me at 3 am for the second time this month and also called me in the morning to wake me up for a chore when i was asleep. it feels like i'm always fighting the urge to yell at her or say that she's treating me like garbage. the only way i can get her to stop calling me is to block her number because i already had her muted and my phone on do not disturb because i didn't want her to bother me. i keep telling her she wakes me up when she calls me. i'm glad that i don't have to see her or talk to her anymore soon.
anyway, i want to hear what other people think. i think sn will always be a popular method just because of the ease of access, but hanging seems easy to do if you have a indoor location.
i've also thought about jumping from a university building after hearing about the student suicides and visiting it last month, but my fear of heights would probably make me too terrified.
in my head, i was thinking about how i prefer sn to hanging because i'm able to be more comfortable if i'm able to commit suicide while lying down, even if it's outside or in a park somewhere. i do wish that i chose to commit earlier than april so that i could dodge the people in my life's birthdays, but my closest friends' birthdays have passed now, so i have less obligations. when i was practicing hanging in my closet it was really hard to get over the gagging sensation i would get when the rope would press into my neck. i feel like i'd be more eager to do it if i drank, but i would need to drink after i'd already set the rope up in the closet or forest. a lot of people have also talked about how gagging's an issue while practicing partial hanging.
sn seems like an easier method in the sense that it's just fasting for 8 hours and then going somewhere secluded to drink your juice. i can't imagine the pain or taste, but i imagine it's still bad. i do wish there was a way for me to gauge how much pain i would be in because i don't have prescription antiemetics, but i figure that i'll never know until the day i do it. my date got postponed again because of my friend and it almost makes me wish we weren't as close of friends if i've postponed twice for his sake. my family still hates me and thinks i'm a chud, but my sister is moving away for her job so there's going to be an empty spot in the house soon. i blocked her number today because she called me at 3 am for the second time this month and also called me in the morning to wake me up for a chore when i was asleep. it feels like i'm always fighting the urge to yell at her or say that she's treating me like garbage. the only way i can get her to stop calling me is to block her number because i already had her muted and my phone on do not disturb because i didn't want her to bother me. i keep telling her she wakes me up when she calls me. i'm glad that i don't have to see her or talk to her anymore soon.
anyway, i want to hear what other people think. i think sn will always be a popular method just because of the ease of access, but hanging seems easy to do if you have a indoor location.
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