In two hours, I'll be 20

[allmyfault]

It's my birthday soon. And I'm alone as always. I'm stuck at home and rotting in bed without talking to anyone. I called my only friend, but she didn't answer, and when I called her again after a while, she got mad and told me not to call her. I understand her. It's natural others hate me cause even I hate myself. I feel terrible for myself that I didn't die until the end of my teenage years. I desperately want to end my life. I've been alone all my life. I don't want to be lonely anymore.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

HAPPY BRITHDAY

We're here for you!

 

[KillingPain267]

Happy birthday!

My life got good at age 24, then crashed after 30. Maybe yours can get good in a few years but avoid crashing.

The brain also still develops until around age 25, so maybe you'll be a new person in a few years.

 

[SmilingNoMore]

Happy birthday, I'm sorry you feel this way. You are not alone with us here, and we also don't hate you. Sending love, and hope that a birthday wish may come true for you one way or another, someday sooner rather than later.

 

[ma0]

Sorry to hear this is how shit turned out for you, I hope us celebrating with you can somewhat suffice, even if it's not in person.

Happy birthday

 

[deadbidaylight]

Happy birthday to you! I'm glad you've made it this far.

From my own experience, teen years were the worst. They were insufferable and I hated it. My life got much better around 23ish. Once people start looking at you as a peer rather than a young, dumb child things get infinitely better. There is definitely still hope at forging a way better life for yourself than the one you're experiencing now.

Have you thought about attending college or university? It's a great place to find your true identity and make relationships with people who are interested in the same things you are. There's lots of pros to going to post secondary besides just getting an education.

If that route isn't for you (I did it and it wasn't for me but I powered through anyway), do you have any hobbies or special interests? Maybe joining a club or taking some classes (ie art for example because I can't think of anything else off the top of my head) could be a great way to meet new people who share similar interests.

There's lots of ways to enrich your life, and you are just getting started. The world is your oyster! I hate that sentiment and it makes no sense, but here we are! Sending you virtual happy birthday hugs and good vibes today and everyday after!

 

[getoutgirl]

I've got my own birthday coming up in a few days. The night of my last birthday I had a massive panic attack that lasted pretty much the whole night. Felt like the nauseous effects of an expired product, only the product was... me, and I was way past my due date and my brain was Not taking that nicely.

So I get it. However, happy birthday!
Feeling alone sucks and hating yourself sucks too, big, and all those feelings are often amplified in your birthday. It's a mocking reminder of life. But also a celebration that you have somehow made it this far, through all that suffering that hasn't even left you still, and achieving that is harder than you may even realise. But it's true.
So I'm glad you are here with us, and I truly hope it gets better from now on for you. You never know. Take care <3

 

[Worndown]

It's been 2 hours, Happy Birthday.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Happy Birthday.
I know they can be difficult for a lot of us here. I'm sorry you are alone but maybe the start of your 20s will see things turn around and get better. If not, you have us.

 

[RadiantNumber]

Happy birthday and lots of hugs

 

[zulu123]

Happy birthday!

 

[GlassMoon]

Happy birthday to you!

 

[Johnzaga23]

im not gonna say happy birthday to you, because it seems performative and obviously youre not happy. I would just say my condolences. I became 21 last month, i was alone too, not that i wanted to be surrounded by people at this point. It was just another day like every else. But look at the bright side of things. As you get older, youre coming closer and closer to death.