In pain

[deletednumber]

I feel so bad both physically and psychologically .... i can't even breathe, i wish all this pain would stop once and for all. sorry i needed to write it down ... i have no one else to tell.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I know the feeling. I'm sorry I can't alleviate your suffering.

 

[deletednumber]

I know the feeling. I'm sorry I can't alleviate your suffering.

Thank you...it feels so bad,so bad...i can't stand it anymore

 

[Conflict3d]

Similar situation here. If the pain would stop and I felt normal mentally things would be pretty nice for me actually

 

[heretogethelp]

I feel so bad both physically and psychologically .... i can't even breathe, i wish all this pain would stop once and for all. sorry i needed to write it down ... i have no one else to tell.

I totally empathize. Life is brutal. You can always sleep if it feels like too much.

 

[deletednumber]

It gives me relief to know that pain will end. whether through alleviation in life or through my own hands with death. there is an end. I understand. It is so isolating and painful. I wish it was not this unbearable.. truly - I wish this for all of us

I would like to scream at someone to help me, to stop this pain, but I can't do that either ...thank you

I totally empathize. Life is brutal. You can always sleep if it feels like too much.

thanks, but i slept until a few hours ... in fact i do nothing but sleep or stay in bed

 

[deletednumber]

SCREAM if you need!! Scream off a hill. in your pillow. punch your bed. cry. do whatever you need to release this. it will stop <3 you are doing so well

thank you ... I am comforted by your replies, they make me feel less alone. I cried all the tears I had and I punched my head just because I hate myself.

 

[deletednumber]

I know you feel alone but you are not alone. I am feeling the same way. My eyes hurt from crying. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself while you are hurting so deeply. Nothing lasts forever - helps to remember this in horrible moments like this. I really wish there was more comfort

you are right, but when it repeats over and over for years, it drives you completely crazy, and takes you to extremes.
Thank you for your words, are helpful to me <3

 

[deletednumber]

I am so glad it helped. I cant alleviate my own pain in a meaningful way but it feels easier to breathe if I can ease something a tiny bit for someone else.

And yes, it really is a recipe for disaster when the loops do not stop.

talking to someone helps a little bit it's true ... total loneliness gives the coup de grace as well as the pain

 

[Bat 17]

thank you ... I am comforted by your replies, they make me feel less alone. I cried all the tears I had and I punched my head just because I hate myself.

God I can remember that awful, awful feeling. Remembering it now is making my skin crawl. I punched my face until both eyes were blacked and nearly fractured my skull. My heart goes out to you S it really does.

What turned the corner for me where that was concerned was being put on olanzapine. Are you on an antipsychotic ?

 

[deletednumber]

Thank you very much Albus <3I'm sorry for what you went through, it was painful!no, I took an antidepressant (paroxetine) for a few months together with benzodiazepines ...

 

[Bat 17]

Give it some thought S it might help you. Benzos are a two edged sword I found I got unpleasant withdrawal effects from them.

 

[deletednumber]

Give it some thought S it might help you. Benzos are a two edged sword I found I got unpleasant withdrawal effects from them.

Do you think I would be better off taking antipsychotics? Here psychiatrists ruin you ... I have already had my bad experiences, I have also been in the psychiatry ward for a month.I would just like to kill myself but even in this I have failed several times as in my whole life.But thank you for tha advice:)

 

[Bat 17]

In my case it just put the brakes on my thoughts running out of control. They aren't a magic cure because they have side effects, but for me they helped yes

 

[deletednumber]

In my case it just put the brakes on my thoughts running out of control. They aren't a magic cure because they have side effects, but for me they helped yes

sure, i'm glad it helped you. in my case taking medicine made my situation worse

 

[Bat 17]

Yes its a different type of medication S. Also paroxetine not a great choice for someone young and suicidal

 

[deletednumber]

Yes its a different type of medication S. Also paroxetine not a great choice for someone young and suicidal

the fact is that I don't want to end up in the hell of psychiatric drugs, being in a psychiatric ward with many patients made me understand that there is no way out, at least not here in Italy.
I have seen many who have been taking psychiatric drugs for years and then ending up in psychiatric wards again after committing suicide. They told me how psychiatric drugs had destroyed their life. At first it seems to help but then it ruins you. Then of course it depends. from case to case and above all it depends if you have external help or not, if you have something to counterbalance.Unfortunately this is not my case

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[Bat 17]

Ironically my psychiatrist is Italian. But I hear you. There are no easy answers I just hope that your suffering gets better S, I like having you around

 

[deletednumber]

Ironically my psychiatrist is Italian. But I hear you. There are no easy answers I just hope that your suffering gets better S, I like having you around

I really thank you Albus!<3 Is the same for me:)

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I tend to have days like those too.

If you need to talk, feel free to pm me.

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah, I know how that feels. We really have to suffer so much as humans. I hope you find some relief.

 

[deletednumber]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I tend to have days like those too.

If you need to talk, feel free to pm me.

Hugs and love,

Matt

Thank you Matt!:) :)

Yeah, I know how that feels. We really have to suffer so much as humans. I hope you find some relief.

I slept most of the day ... it helped a little