In hot water

[Ender]

My will to ctb increases each day. I have missed school, now my counselor is getting involved. Everything is closing in on me, I still have to keep my true feelings a secret. I need to play this game. One of the most gut-retching things that I have to do is mask my true emotions and thoughts. I have to act happy, I have to act normal. It is painful, it feels like i'm being pricked by many needles. But it has to be, no one understands my emotions, no one understands my illnesses and diseases.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Have you honestly talked to your caretakers about this? It's an obvious first step that many youngins don't do for some reason. My only reason to not ctb is to not harm my family, if I can keep tanking the psych dmg for a little longer I'll try to. If I never told anyone that I wanted to die I might have already ctb, wait oh fuck I actually shouldn't have told them then I would be dead. Idk, fam, sry.

 

[Ender]

Have you honestly talked to your caretakers about this? It's an obvious first step that many youngins don't do for some reason. My only reason to not ctb is to not harm my family, if I can keep tanking the psych dmg for a little longer I'll try to. If I never told anyone that I wanted to die I might have already ctb, wait oh fuck I actually shouldn't have told them then I would be dead. Idk, fam,sry.

I have told my guardians that I'm struggling and sad. Nothing about ctb. Still, I didn't reveal much.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I have told my guardians that I'm struggling and sad. Nothing about ctb. Still, I didn't reveal much.

Well, it depends on your situation but it's an obvious first step for not dying for many.

 

[Ender]

Well, it depends on your situation but it's an obvious first step for not dying for many.

My situation is nothing but confusing and depressing. I try to take as many steps as I can. But my circumstances are beyond help I fear. I appreciate your tip though.

 

[WornOutLife]

I need to play this game.

Me too, my friend. This is exhausting. I don't know londer I will be able to keep up to this situation!

 

[Water-Lily]

I think you should open up. in my case it allowed me to get access to therapy. though I was still in an abusive family situation I got access to mental health services that made life bearable.