Venting Im weak/why bother with friends

[Life_and_Death]

Its funny, yesterday i thought to myself "im weak. I cant handle my disorders" and today "fuck it! Ill destroy what i want", in reference to my friend regonizing that most actions i make, isnt about the other person/people involved. Proof that im weak and cant handle it? Yeah....probably. But idc.
Also i dont get it. You say you care about me but when asked i get a generalized answer that says i could have been anyone. You dont care about 'me' i just happen to be the one in your life. Why does it matter when im not the one you care about?
Self destruction.....

Spoiler: You know who you are. Please dont click on this. Either of you

i cant believe i even thought about sending 'pics'. And it was my idea. I didnt but i thought about it. Of course the way i was back in school it cant be too much of a surprise (not as bad as most but i still did things i hate myself for).

im completely fucking worthless.
I feel like snapping and going on a major self destruction spree. If i stay off my meds long enough maybe i will. "Please go back to taking your meds" shut up. Youre not me and i dont want to take them. Ill deal with the insanity, maybe ill finally kill myself if i let it go long enough.
I hate every last little thing about me. I hate it all. And no one can change that.

Idk where this went.....i just stopped thinking while i typed.....

 

[hʚll]

hey, sending you a big hug.
i hope something will soon ease your pain and give you a bit of relief.

 

[Life_and_Death]

hey, sending you a big hug.
i hope something will soon ease your pain and give you a bit of relief.

Thanks
Sadly the only way thing are gonna change is if i go back on my meds

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Sending you hugs and peace, you sound like me it was like reading something I read.