Im tired of being here

[shaggydootv]

Like bro everyday i like myself less the most painful thing is to get old and all u can look back at is carrying pain and depression your whole life im 27 and i see myself as old now im 27 i would describe myself as a 30 year old child all i can look back at in my entire life is oppression could never do anything i liked didnt have much opportunities bad shit happened to me i did wrong too and im tired i regret getting old just to feel miserable if theres a God iam sure he brings people to this life to have them carry suffering their whole life its not my fault to be a human is not my fault to be a sinner my nature isnt my fault i didnt choose to be this but i genuinely regret allowing myself to get old just to feel this miserable i wished i killed myself way way younger my life and my suffering was totally pointless and unnecessary i wish i didnt exist to be rejected my whole life oppressed lonely ugly weak and unable to do anything i would've wished for does afterlife make me feel better hell no will people remember me as a beautiful human like alot of people have the privilege to be remembered as? nope so nothing really makes me feel better maybe the idea of not exisiting and not even being remembered at all sounds slightly more comforting to me as nobody could express themselves negatively about me ever again.