Venting I’m so tired

[rainmoon]

I hate myself so much, every action I do I hate five minutes later. I genuinely cannot stand myself so I don't blame other people for not either. I don't want to be here anymore I'm living because I can't die, I'm too much of a wimp and I hate myself for it. I don't do it because I don't want my family to have to see me like that. But there's no other reason, I don't want to be alive, no one cares, no one cares enough to know how shit my situation is. I'm so stressed about everything, I'm tired of my brain working overtime, trying to figure out and make up things that show people hate me. I don't know what's real and what's in my head anymore. I don't know what to make of anything that anyone tells me and my brain always twists it to put me down instead. I push people away because I think they hate me and I feel justified in that conclusion but every time I try to explain my situation to anyone else they make it seem like I'm just overreacting. I can't handle feeling like this anymore, feeling this shit everyday is no life to live and I'm so so tired of it. I wish and hope every night that tonight will be my last that I'll never wake up or if I do that means tomorrow is my last. Even if this feeling is temporary, I know this world, this society isn't for me. I have no place here and I never will. I just want it all to end.

 

[Heart Shards]

You have a place here, Friend. I'm glad you're here. Grab a cup of coffee and hang around for a while. Feel free to send me a PM if you'd like. You are loved!

 

[Lilacmoon]

Congratulations on making here. I hope by venting and talking to people your stay here is a little more tolerable and you can find a little bit of relief :( Would you like a hug?

 

[Ghost2211]

I hope you find what you're looking for here. I'm sorry to hear life has brought you to this point.