firewoodduck
Member
- Oct 23, 2024
- 16
I'm three weeks from graduation and have so much fucking shit rn.
I feel so fucked in veery way, I've been nasus since lunch and can't think straight. I'm scared I'm gonna relapse bs thats the only thing I can think of to reset my head. I don't want to tho, I've been clean since October and know it will devastate some ppl in my life to know that I've relapsed.
I had my prom on friday and felt shit the whole time one of my close friends stopped talking to me and had her new "guy of the week" following her around like a dog. Later I learned she was upset at me over a misunderstanding and it was cleared up, then had this friend dump all her feeling about this guy and shes leading him on the same way she lead me on which makes me feel even more shit
I have a math exam tomorrow that I haven't studied for. Theoretically, I can get a 0 on the exam and still pass the class and get into my program, but my parents will see the exam grade and they'll be lived if its not their standard.
Speaking of my parents, my dad tore up my entire room yesterday, dumping all my draws out. Why you might ask? Bc i had food in it. It wasn't rotting or anything, was just a snack I had had the day before. I'm not allowed to have food in my room so that set him off. He said he'll destroy my room everyday if its not clean to his standards.
I have my final drama production tomorrow as well, I've taken part in writing it and have a minor roll. No one is fucking ready. Most people are not off book. My writing is gonna look shit in front of everyone bc its not being delivered properly. I'm scared my parents are gonna see it and be like "This is rlly what you spent all this time doing? What a waste." and be more upset at me than they alr are.
TL;DR: have math exam and final drama presentation tomorrow, fucked for both, have friendship drama with no end in sight, my parents are beyond upset at me. Scared to relapse but fear its to only way to reset my head.
I feel so fucked in veery way, I've been nasus since lunch and can't think straight. I'm scared I'm gonna relapse bs thats the only thing I can think of to reset my head. I don't want to tho, I've been clean since October and know it will devastate some ppl in my life to know that I've relapsed.
I had my prom on friday and felt shit the whole time one of my close friends stopped talking to me and had her new "guy of the week" following her around like a dog. Later I learned she was upset at me over a misunderstanding and it was cleared up, then had this friend dump all her feeling about this guy and shes leading him on the same way she lead me on which makes me feel even more shit
I have a math exam tomorrow that I haven't studied for. Theoretically, I can get a 0 on the exam and still pass the class and get into my program, but my parents will see the exam grade and they'll be lived if its not their standard.
Speaking of my parents, my dad tore up my entire room yesterday, dumping all my draws out. Why you might ask? Bc i had food in it. It wasn't rotting or anything, was just a snack I had had the day before. I'm not allowed to have food in my room so that set him off. He said he'll destroy my room everyday if its not clean to his standards.
I have my final drama production tomorrow as well, I've taken part in writing it and have a minor roll. No one is fucking ready. Most people are not off book. My writing is gonna look shit in front of everyone bc its not being delivered properly. I'm scared my parents are gonna see it and be like "This is rlly what you spent all this time doing? What a waste." and be more upset at me than they alr are.
TL;DR: have math exam and final drama presentation tomorrow, fucked for both, have friendship drama with no end in sight, my parents are beyond upset at me. Scared to relapse but fear its to only way to reset my head.
