I'm so glad I found this forum

[Snake Bridges]

I've always wanted to say this for the longest time without medical professionals from calling the police on me.. But.. I want to kill myself. There, I said it. I got it off my chest without anyone judging me for it. It feels fucking good. Yes, I deserve death in some way. Reason being is I'm just a loser with no future ahead of myself. I'm really stupid, talentless, no skills at all and my family secretly hates me and I have no friends. I just don't deserve being alive. I'm jobless and mooching off my parents it's enough for society to think I'm a piece of shit. Thing is, I'm scared of death and that's what's preventing me from truly seeking death right now. I am planning on looking for non-painful ways but still doing research. Anyways, I wish that there are other members who are also NEET like me as well who feel the same way.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@Snake Bridges I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so worthless. You don't say how old you are but things can change, there are plenty of things you can do before you resort to suicide. No judgement here of course but I know things do change for many people. Is there any job or studies you'd really like to do?

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that people should be able to always talk openly about suicide without the stigma and fear of being judged for wanting to leave. After all wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world like this and we have no obligations to live as we did not ask to exist. I hope that you are able to find relief from your suffering. I do not personally fear death, I actually look forward to it, but instead I fear the method failing. Ctb really is so difficult and it should be easier.

 

[hellispink]

I feel the same way. Outside of here is very difficult to say how one feels because they will start judging like if they were in ones shoes. I am also happy I can count with all you here.

 

[keitaro]

i can relate. and i'm also neet and live with a parent. i recently had a part time job for six months, but i gave up. it's all so pointless. but at least now i have some money saved up to ctb in a decent way.

 

[Julgran]

I've always wanted to say this for the longest time without medical professionals from calling the police on me.. But.. I want to kill myself. There, I said it. I got it off my chest without anyone judging me for it. It feels fucking good. Yes, I deserve death in some way. Reason being is I'm just a loser with no future ahead of myself. I'm really stupid, talentless, no skills at all and my family secretly hates me and I have no friends. I just don't deserve being alive. I'm jobless and mooching off my parents it's enough for society to think I'm a piece of shit. Thing is, I'm scared of death and that's what's preventing me from truly seeking death right now. I am planning on looking for non-painful ways but still doing research. Anyways, I wish that there are other members who are also NEET like me as well who feel the same way.

You are welcome here!

I'm curious as to why you think that you "deserve death" - have people treated you so badly so far that you have convinced yourself that you don't deserve to be treated well?

 

[losingit]

I feel the same way and outside of this place it's hard to find anyone else who feels the same

 

[Snake Bridges]

@Snake Bridges I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so worthless. You don't say how old you are but things can change, there are plenty of things you can do before you resort to suicide. No judgement here of course but I know things do change for many people. Is there any job or studies you'd really like to do?

I'm 32. I've seen enough to realize things aren't going to change and ever associating with other people just makes my situation worse. And to answer your question I'm just too weak to handle a job and I never get along with anybody at work. I either get outed as the weirdo or I get teased by other co-workers. I refuse to go to work in fear of harming someone. I'm just weak-minded. Call it laziness, I don't fucking care anymore. I've heard that word too many times. And any type of education my family never encourages it or pushes me for any kind of education. And that's the funny thing. Every time anything good happens to me, my parents ego feels threatened so they go out of their way of trying to put me down in some form by complaining about something that I've done or something I haven't done yet. Anyways, even if I did go to college I lack of any kind of transportation and my parents never drop me off it's 10 miles away I simply can't just walk. Even if I took online courses I'm too fucking retarded for that shit I'm simply uneducated. I am unable to learn anything. I've had a learning disability since I was a kid. I didn't learn how to speak until I was 5 - 6. And was in the IEP program all my grade school years.

I think that people should be able to always talk openly about suicide without the stigma and fear of being judged for wanting to leave. After all wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world like this and we have no obligations to live as we did not ask to exist. I hope that you are able to find relief from your suffering. I do not personally fear death, I actually look forward to it, but instead I fear the method failing. Ctb really is so difficult and it should be easier.

I hear you. Human beings should have the right to suicide no matter what. Self-righteous cunts think they have the moral high ground to say, "NO! DON'T DO IT!" when all they're doing is just virtue signaling. 90% of people who tell others to don't kill themselves are simply there to feel good about themselves like they won high morality points. Like it's some fucking KotOR RPG game where dark and light side points jump up for every bad or good deed that happens. It's just shallow and ingenuine and I never believe a single soul who think they care. It's just shallow. And did I forget to mention that the governent doesn't want to legalize assisted suicide simply because they know for a god damn fact that eveyrone would be dropping like flies. There would be no work force because everyone would be killing themselves!!! They need you to work so they have a functioning economy. The government, civilians ANYONE doesn't give a fuck about you or anyone else out there and it's the sad truth. I've ultimately came to the conclusion that no one gives a fuck about human life and it's all just a pretend show to pretend to "love" and "care" for anyone nowadays. Love doesn't exist. Anyways ctb should be fucking legal and I wish killing ourselves was easy and painless. It fucking sucks. I'm still planning on how to do it.

I feel the same way. Outside of here is very difficult to say how one feels because they will start judging like if they were in ones shoes. I am also happy I can count with all you here.

Thank you. It feels so damn good to not be alone in this. And thank you for your reply. DM's are open if you want to talk about it.

i can relate. and i'm also neet and live with a parent. i recently had a part time job for six months, but i gave up. it's all so pointless. but at least now i have some money saved up to ctb in a decent way.

Right on man. Wish I wasn't broke man. Save onto that money when the time comes. Deep down I wanna say don't do it but I don't know the severity of your issue. I hope you figure out the answers regardless.

You are welcome here!

I'm curious as to why you think that you "deserve death" - have people treated you so badly so far that you have convinced yourself that you don't deserve to be treated well?

I've been fucked over by so many people by so many fake assholes by so many other people. I laugh whenever I see people talking about equality and shit when that is a complete farce. Everyone is just an asshole. I don't believe that there's good people. I don't believe in anyone's authentic nature. In my world everyone is basically a sociopath. Parents hate me. I am the middle child out of the family so of course I am disregarded. And yes, I was abused as a child too. But they like to pretend it never happened. I could go on and on. For years I was in-denial but it's now taking it's toll. I just don't think good people exist.

I feel the same way and outside of this place it's hard to find anyone else who feels the same

That's why I'm here and why everyone is here anyways. It gives me great relief.

 

[Julgran]

I've been fucked over by so many people by so many fake assholes by so many other people. I laugh whenever I see people talking about equality and shit when that is a complete farce. Everyone is just an asshole. I don't believe that there's good people. I don't believe in anyone's authentic nature. In my world everyone is basically a sociopath. Parents hate me. I am the middle child out of the family so of course I am disregarded. And yes, I was abused as a child too. But they like to pretend it never happened. I could go on and on. For years I was in-denial but it's now taking it's toll. I just don't think good people exist.

I see, but that doesn't mean that you "deserve death". Going by what you have written, it's those other people who have treated you badly, who actually need to rethink their morals.

 

[Snake Bridges]

I see, but that doesn't mean that you "deserve death". Going by what you have written, it's those other people who have treated you badly, who actually need to rethink their morals.

Yeah but there's more to it. I'm not smart I'm dumb as a rock, I'm unemployed, no friends. My parents hate me. I have no car. I don't get along with other people and my job performances have absolutely sucked. I can list all the mental illnesses and yadda yadda yadda. At the end of the day people will just call me lazy. All I do is jerk off and play video games. I've lost all meaning. I just don't understand why a piece of shit like me needs to continue to exist. I'm just mooching off my parents and they even said I'm the reason why I'm ruining their marriage because they're taking care of a 32 year old. That's the position I'm in.

I promise you if I told people IRL what I do they'd hate me. Everyone would hate me. It's like why bother to continue living. I'm an absolute embarrassment to society.

 

[whatevs]

Yeah but there's more to it. I'm not smart I'm dumb as a rock, I'm unemployed, no friends. My parents hate me. I have no car. I don't get along with other people and my job performances have absolutely sucked. I can list all the mental illnesses and yadda yadda yadda. At the end of the day people will just call me lazy. All I do is jerk off and play video games. I've lost all meaning. I just don't understand why a piece of shit like me needs to continue to exist. I'm just mooching off my parents and they even said I'm the reason why I'm ruining their marriage because they're taking care of a 32 year old. That's the position I'm in.

I promise you if I told people IRL what I do they'd hate me. Everyone would hate me. It's like why bother to continue living. I'm an absolute embarrassment to society.

Fuck society though. We don't owe them anything. A lot of people thrive off the work of others, but the disabled or failed have to feel ashamed? That'd make sense if society wasn't run by fucking thieves and scammers. If these people have no shame I refuse to have it, at least in regards to 'society'.

And your parents acquired an obligation when they reproduced, IMO.

Of course as you put it you have better reasons to want to die than however society perceives you, it all comes down to having nothing of what makes life worthwhile on an individual level.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I've always wanted to say this for the longest time without medical professionals from calling the police on me.. But.. I want to kill myself. There, I said it. I got it off my chest without anyone judging me for it. It feels fucking good. Yes, I deserve death in some way. Reason being is I'm just a loser with no future ahead of myself. I'm really stupid, talentless, no skills at all and my family secretly hates me and I have no friends. I just don't deserve being alive. I'm jobless and mooching off my parents it's enough for society to think I'm a piece of shit. Thing is, I'm scared of death and that's what's preventing me from truly seeking death right now. I am planning on looking for non-painful ways but still doing research. Anyways, I wish that there are other members who are also NEET like me as well who feel the same way.

Imo This website sanctioned suicide is the only place on Earth where people talk about reality.
On all other websites, media, irl etc u can't even talk about suicide from a pro-choice point of view.

 

[Julgran]

Yeah but there's more to it. I'm not smart I'm dumb as a rock, I'm unemployed, no friends. My parents hate me. I have no car. I don't get along with other people and my job performances have absolutely sucked. I can list all the mental illnesses and yadda yadda yadda. At the end of the day people will just call me lazy. All I do is jerk off and play video games. I've lost all meaning. I just don't understand why a piece of shit like me needs to continue to exist. I'm just mooching off my parents and they even said I'm the reason why I'm ruining their marriage because they're taking care of a 32 year old. That's the position I'm in.

I promise you if I told people IRL what I do they'd hate me. Everyone would hate me. It's like why bother to continue living. I'm an absolute embarrassment to society.

It seems like you didn't get a fair start to begin with, and now you have ended up in this situation as a result of that. I can imagine that it's tough for you.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I'm 32. I've seen enough to realize things aren't going to change and ever associating with other people just makes my situation worse. And to answer your question I'm just too weak to handle a job and I never get along with anybody at work. I either get outed as the weirdo or I get teased by other co-workers. I refuse to go to work in fear of harming someone. I'm just weak-minded. Call it laziness, I don't fucking care anymore. I've heard that word too many times. And any type of education my family never encourages it or pushes me for any kind of education. And that's the funny thing. Every time anything good happens to me, my parents ego feels threatened so they go out of their way of trying to put me down in some form by complaining about something that I've done or something I haven't done yet. Anyways, even if I did go to college I lack of any kind of transportation and my parents never drop me off it's 10 miles away I simply can't just walk. Even if I took online courses I'm too fucking retarded for that shit I'm simply uneducated. I am unable to learn anything. I've had a learning disability since I was a kid. I didn't learn how to speak until I was 5 - 6. And was in the IEP program all my grade school years.

Thanks for elaborating, I was worried you were a lot younger so it was hard what to advise. I'm in a very similar boat although female, I totally get how you feel. I've given up too I know I'll never amount to anything. I totally support your right to choose what you want to do with your life.