I’m so fucked but I hate suicide/death so much.

[Left]

I'm full of pain, envy, sadness, loneliness, etc. everyday. I'm constantly suffering. I'm back on this website, I've been here so many times before. My mind won't allow me to legitimately think about suicide but I'm so unhappy everyday. Complete torture. Limbo…

 

[アホペンギン]

There isn't a precise manner to explain why this may be happening, since it may differ for everyone since no one is the same but I have an inkling that your SI is one of the factors at play, causing this. It is what is the case for most people who I come across, experiencing this same problem you are experiencing. You've been taught that life is good and death is bad, and it might have influenced your SI over the years.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm full of pain, envy, sadness, loneliness, etc. everyday. I'm constantly suffering. I'm back on this website, I've been here so many times before. My mind won't allow me to legitimately think about suicide but I'm so unhappy everyday. Complete torture. Limbo…

Me too.
This is my third account since 2020.
I'm constantly suffering with mental health issues.
It never goes away.
Yet for me, suicide is the only way to stop the suffering.
I wish I had N , yet will have to resort to jumping instead.
I don't even want to get better anymore.
I'm too far gone now.
I view death as good, because death brings the end of suffering.

 

[wasted__life__23]

Why is it so hard to live but so hard to die? I feel like Sisyphus, eternally rolling a rock of despair up the hill of misery.