I'm so depressed I don't want to affect others

[Tintypographer]

I spend every day listening to the crap around me, seeing people maximizing their impact or reach or opportunity. Alml I can feel is that it is just a complete waste. We can't overcome the problems, nothing we do will matter in 100 years and yet everyone acts like everything is important.

I dont even want to engage with other people around me anymore. I don't want to try and push through bureaucracies or try to ensure things are correct or pay for things or show up on time because even though it matters to some collective and the rules are set up to make things fair, it won't matter in 500 years. And when someone says "yes but it matters now and your relationships with others now are all that matter." That's not what I want to care about. If that's it, I truly am just an organic pain collector racing from unfulfilled emotional development to body and system breakdown then death.

Here are the things I want and my conditions for all those therapists out there:

I want to feel better. I want to be left completely alone. I don't want to be prayed for or to know people are praying for me. I don't want to be part of groups or to work with others, I don't want to have to let others dictate what I do with contracts and marketing, and I don't want to have to deal with realtionships.

 

[DPJ187]

Then find a remote location where you can live, get it up to standard for you and move. It's not impossible, you just have to make active steps towards it. One at a time and you will get there. We decide our futures, waiting for it to happen is pointless, the world owes you absolutely nothing. Go make the future you want, you are lucky enough to know what you want, so put all your energy into that, there is no reason it cant become a reality.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it can be very awful living a life that you hate and other people can just make things worse. This life can be very tiring and I also see life as being very meaningless, it is just suffering for the sake of it. I wish you the best.

 

[loststar]

I get this. My brother seems to have all luck in the world, can ace any job interview, never gets seriously ill. I got all the bad genes its seems.

 

[romanholidaydionysu]

Sartre was right in saying hell is other people.
The cosmic joke is humans are social animals