Ardesevent
It’s the end of the line, cowboy
- Feb 2, 2020
- 358
I had a strange experience with partial a few days ago, and I finally found out why- apparently I managed to damage the wardrobe bar I was using for it pretty badly. It's still screwed into the wall, but it's barely hanging on there. I was an idiot for not realizing it was screwed in instead of bolted before, and I got what I deserved.
But now that I lost the wardrobe, I don't have any more methods to use. I can't even use a door in my house, since they're hollow. My guns got confiscated, my drowning attempts and overdoses went as well as you can expect, and now partial is impossible. I can't order SN or charcoal either, since my dad goes through everything I order.
The only bet I have left is a train that runs through my area. Company delivery train only, so no passengers to worry about traumatizing, either. But since it doesn't take passengers, I have no way of knowing when it might show up. There's also the issue of whoever's driving it- I doubt they'll see me when I jump in front of it, but I have no way to make sure.
I'm running out of options and I don't want to live forever. I turn 19 in a couple months, and I don't want to celebrate another year of failed attempts and being useless. Hopefully I get lucky and get conveniently murdered or die of Covid.
But now that I lost the wardrobe, I don't have any more methods to use. I can't even use a door in my house, since they're hollow. My guns got confiscated, my drowning attempts and overdoses went as well as you can expect, and now partial is impossible. I can't order SN or charcoal either, since my dad goes through everything I order.
The only bet I have left is a train that runs through my area. Company delivery train only, so no passengers to worry about traumatizing, either. But since it doesn't take passengers, I have no way of knowing when it might show up. There's also the issue of whoever's driving it- I doubt they'll see me when I jump in front of it, but I have no way to make sure.
I'm running out of options and I don't want to live forever. I turn 19 in a couple months, and I don't want to celebrate another year of failed attempts and being useless. Hopefully I get lucky and get conveniently murdered or die of Covid.
