I'm one of the men who gave up

[Area Man]

And I mean in participating in a society that offered me no hope in my early 20s when I became very anxious and depressed over being socially awkward or ugly or whatever. I was later diagnosed as autistic which explains it to a large degree. I've not really worked through my 20s and now have been targeted by a shaming and harrasment campaign that has meant I'll likely never get a job anywhere again. Too weird, too slovenly. My reptutation is in ruins and I see more of just this: hiding in my room, hardly leaving the house due to the humiliation and maybe managing to distract myself with a video game once in a while. Everything I did before though was basically groundwork in the hopes of some sort of future I've realised, one that I no longer see myself having. Even my family have said I should just kill myself.

Sharing the experience of a now very disposible male.

 

[whatevs]

You have a persecutory delusion, probably. I'd try to admit that for starters. If you just give in to your mental illness you're done for.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so much in life. I can imagine that it must be awful being in that situation and I know that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless. This life really is so unfair and tiring. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Area Man]

You have a persecutory delusion, probably. I'd try to admit that for starters. If you just give in to your mental illness you're done for.

Yeah I kinda did and now I'm dealing with the concequences of being done for. I'm not held in high esteem by anyone and events have transpired that make recovery very unlikely.

 

[Anxieyote]

I also feel disposable in the sense that I don't offer much utility to the world. I am existing and working a part-time minimum-wage job (and even that is too much for me to handle).

I am trying my best to go easy on myself, because an easy conclusion to come to when you are in that position is "my life is worthless, and it has no meaning". Dissatisfaction and/or suicide tend to follow once that belief is internalized.

I think people's presences are felt by others, even if they aren't actively contributing to someone else's life or putting in effort. One of my neighbors is on government assistance, and does nothing but sit on her porch all day. Since she sits on the porch, she has been an active presence in my life in the sense that I see her everyday and have brief interactions with her from time to time. She's not playing a particularly large role in the grand scheme of things, but she is there—and I devote some thought to her just because she is there.

You could look at someone like that and say their life "matters less" because their output is less significant. We could justify the deaths of many people this way, by looking at their overall output and saying, "You don't seem to provide much utility to others."

I think that's where spirituality comes in. If the human soul has inherent value, then no one can make the claim that someone else's life is disposable or worthless. "Because I am alive; I am important." is what I would like to believe, along with "Because you are alive; you are important." when it comes to other people. In that sense, you would have already met the criteria for being worthy of existence—all other factors be damned (income status, overall reputation, etc.)

 

[Area Man]

I also feel disposable in the sense that I don't offer much utility to the world. I am existing and working a part-time minimum-wage job (and even that is too much for me to handle).

I am trying my best to go easy on myself, because an easy conclusion to come to when you are in that position is "my life is worthless, and it has no meaning". Dissatisfaction and/or suicide tend to follow once that belief is internalized.

I think people's presences are felt by others, even if they aren't actively contributing to someone else's life or putting in effort. One of my neighbors is on government assistance, and does nothing but sit on her porch all day. Since she sits on the porch, she has been an active presence in my life in the sense that I see her everyday and have brief interactions with her from time to time. She's not playing a particularly large role in the grand scheme of things, but she is there—and I devote some thought to her just because she is there.

You could look at someone like that and say their life "matters less" because their output is less significant. We could justify the deaths of many people this way, by looking at their overall output and saying, "You don't seem to provide much utility to others."

I think that's where spirituality comes in. If the human soul has inherent value, then no one can make the claim that someone else's life is disposable or worthless. "Because I am alive; I am important." is what I would like to believe, along with "Because you are alive; you are important." when it comes to other people. In that sense, you would have already met the criteria for being worthy of existence—all other factors be damned (income status, overall reputation, etc.)

One of the wisest, most insightful things I've ever read on this site. Problem is we have a much more unspritual society today and rather shallow one despite being more affluent than ever.