I'm not brave

[destiny]

Various people keep telling me I'm so brave for not yet having CTB. I don't get. I'm laying in bed all day, spiralling, crying, drinking, daydreaming about my death and funeral, researching methods, draining the people around me. What's brave about that? Overcoming SI, knowing the end will be painful, choosing something as permanent as death, that's braveness.

Just venting.
I hope soon I'll be brave enough.

 

[ClownMe]

Don't be too hard on yourself, it's difficult to overcome SI, I know I struggle with it. People who commit suicide or even attempt/contemplate committing suicide are the most mentally strong people in my opinion, it takes a lot of guts to leave everything you know on this earth in exchange for nothingness to escape the pain.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's a really hard thing to do. To overcome your basic instinct and to know it's happening is very very difficult. I'm sorry you're in so much pain that has led you here

 

[Worndown]

Brave is getting up every day to a world that causes you this much pain. To ctb is less bravery and more commitment, reaching that point where you cannot continue and SI holds no power over you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering, I can relate, I have a pointless existence and all I ever do is overthink. It is difficult to overcome the SI as we are programmed to survive, it is the one of the things that holds me back. I wish to fall into an eternal sleep. I wish you well.