I'm just waiting for death at this point

[Sadbanana]

I'm spending my days playing videogames. I don't go outside much. I would want to do something else, but everything feels so empty. When I play games I don't really feel much joy I just find something difficult enough to make me angry and forget how sad I'm. I had daily headaches and insomnia recently and it suck more thna I thought.

I don't have much sense of accomplishment from anything and I never had, even when I was doing better in life I always felt like I have zero worth and that I'm one slip up from everyone hating me. I used to do cool stuff, like draw pretty ok, but when I finished drawing even when I really liked it I just feel nothing, maybe my dopamine is broken idk.

I just want to skip this life. I would much preffer nothingness than this. Although what I would want the most is another chance in life, maybe with better luck and less broken brain.

There were few times I was very close to death and at those moments I felt as much at peace as I was scared. There was this relief, that it is finally going to happen.

Sorry if my rambling is too incoherent, I feel like I have too much mental fog lately to express myself normally.

 

[Hotsackage]

go outside trust me, i been there

 

[Shiitake]

go outside trust me, i been there

most of us are at a point where we are genuinely never going to end up better, i know its strange, but these toughts usually have been in our minds for years that we should do better

 

[Hotsackage]

most of us are at a point where we are genuinely never going to end up better, i know its strange, but these toughts usually have been in our minds for years that we should do better

im never getting better either, i feel that, but u can diminish suffering a bit. feel better friend

 

[Shiitake]

im never getting better either, i feel that, but u can diminish suffering a bit. feel better friend

i do lol, i feel nothing, like im just existing, i dont call it suffering either.