I’m insane

[Mental]

Lately the feelings of emptiness and disgust towards the human being are increasing. I'm more aggressive, in fact in my mind I've probably invented several scenarios where I'm committing atrocities with the people I'm arguing with.
I'm afraid of losing control all the time. I feel like it's not me again, and I'm very afraid sometimes to be with myself.
It's like I constantly need someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. But of course, this is not enough, or I'm sorry. My head does not let me take a breath of myself, so I turn to the suggestions forum of ctb almost every day, I imagine my death every time I go to class, on the bus, on the street, I see myself die, it is beginning to affect me because I do not know what is happening to me.I didn't want to die, not now, but maybe it's my destiny, for not being a good person in the past.

 

[Zzzzz]

I don't wish violence on people. But I definitely hate dealing with people and don't like them.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you have to endure. Living can be very painful as thoughts are capable of torturing us and I know that this life can be unbearable when you suffer so much. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through

 

[Mental]

That sounds really horrible what you have to endure. Living can be very painful as thoughts are capable of torturing us and I know that this life can be unbearable when you suffer so much. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through

It's exhausting to feel this way all the time, I guess that's why I spend most of the time I can sleep, not to imagine things. I thought medication and therapy were working, but they're not a "miracle".
PD: thank you for your words