I'm getting kicked out

[tea on clouds]

I'm a 20 years old student from Spain living with the most toxic family ever.

For a long time I was keeping everything inside of me, I wouldn't say a word about all the toxicity in this house, mainly because I never thought they could ever understand it. But things changed a while ago, I saw no point on suffering all this psychological torture so I spoke out all my feelings. As predicted, they didn't understand how a felt and just saw that as a "dishonorable behaviour for everything they ever did for me". I was really glad for all they did, but all this physical comfort I got here wouldn't worth all the mental discomfort I had. At the end of the argument they gave me 3 months left to leave this house...

I was born in Brazil so I have double nationality, I plan going to my girlfriend's house in Brazil and try to start everything again from the bottom. But still I kinda feel they won't let me leave the country so I guess I'll have to say that I'm staying in a friend's house and then escape from here once for all.

But this is really a huge step for me... I'm only a 20 years old raised in a western family that tried to control my life, therefore, I have almost none of experiences about earning my own living. I just couldn't bear all that was happening here. If only I had different minded people as parents... I only have 350€ on bank, I think is enough to travel, if not I try to get the money left somehow.

It's crazy how life shifts in a total different direction in a matter of time. I don't know how this is going to end up, I'm so scared...

 

[HopelessFight]

I'm very sorry you are in this horrible situation. €350 won't be nearly enough to buy a plane ticket to Brazil i'm afraid.

 

[any%]

I envy you in the way that you found your heart and the bravery to say what you feel. You stopped bending, accomodating and silently swallow whatever pain and grief was headed your way. I am terribly sorry for you that this all has comes at such a heavy prize, meaning you have to leave your family for now. But I have been in so many heated and emotional fights in my life and even know I dont know you, your struggles, your family or the exact circumstances in your life, I can tell you that your given situation now - having to leave within 3 months - might change. In germany we have a saying that perfectly fits for this, I could not find something similiar in english so this is simply translated by me: Nothing is eaten as hot as it is cooked.
And remember that if one door shuts, it usually shifts your awareness to all the other doors that always have been there. I hope you can get through this and maybe you will talk again with your family in a day, a week or a month, you never know, Feel hugged and stay strong!