I posted on here a bit in the past. My plan was/is by the end of next year if I don't see any hope, if I'm still miserable, or if I don't see a reasonable path to a life I want. Then I will die by the end of 2022.
A number of years back I found out because I'm autistic I can't even go into the military. We have a 85% chance of being unemployed even if we have a college degree, and only 12% of us makes enough to live off of. I've dealt with the raw end of the stick of workplace harassment in practically every job I been in.
Because of the years of harassment to include being laughed out of interviews and picked on by people double my age, me doing 4 degrees back to back, the constant rejection from practically all aspects of my life to include romantic, the hate from my family, the fact I'm forced on a constant bases to deal with a drunk & is drug addict while having to take care and deal with her kids, the fact that I'm constantly trying to find my way out of this hole, and so on. I believe I'm dealing with autistic burnout. On some days I have only a few hours of brain power before problems like spelling to not being able to drive happens.
Currently I'm living with my parents, my sister, and her 2 kids (3 and 5). I'm in my 30's and nearly everyday has been miserable for me. My sister has a massive drinking problem, she is highly abusive, and she even gets her kids to cuss and yell at us at times. When I threaten to call the cops to get rid of her, my parents threatened me on kicking me out.
Recently I gotten into crypto and made a few thousand. But I don't think I can make enough to seriously make a dent in my life. Like I seriously doubt I can keep this up. And there isn't enough there to live off on for a long time.
Some days like today with how miserable it is around her, I think about just dying now.
A number of years back I found out because I'm autistic I can't even go into the military. We have a 85% chance of being unemployed even if we have a college degree, and only 12% of us makes enough to live off of. I've dealt with the raw end of the stick of workplace harassment in practically every job I been in.
Because of the years of harassment to include being laughed out of interviews and picked on by people double my age, me doing 4 degrees back to back, the constant rejection from practically all aspects of my life to include romantic, the hate from my family, the fact I'm forced on a constant bases to deal with a drunk & is drug addict while having to take care and deal with her kids, the fact that I'm constantly trying to find my way out of this hole, and so on. I believe I'm dealing with autistic burnout. On some days I have only a few hours of brain power before problems like spelling to not being able to drive happens.
Currently I'm living with my parents, my sister, and her 2 kids (3 and 5). I'm in my 30's and nearly everyday has been miserable for me. My sister has a massive drinking problem, she is highly abusive, and she even gets her kids to cuss and yell at us at times. When I threaten to call the cops to get rid of her, my parents threatened me on kicking me out.
Recently I gotten into crypto and made a few thousand. But I don't think I can make enough to seriously make a dent in my life. Like I seriously doubt I can keep this up. And there isn't enough there to live off on for a long time.
Some days like today with how miserable it is around her, I think about just dying now.
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