I'm genuinely at a loss here

[idktbf00]

The only thing keeping me alive is the money I owe my family

I keep fantasizing about myself dying, having my limbs torn off, being run over or falling off of a highrise

I'm pretty sure I'm not sane anymore and whoever I talk to I feel so fucking alienated, I just wish I had someone to join me in my darkness. I'm tired of platitudes, I just want to sit and be comfortable before I'm gone

 

[Dinozauria]

Welcome to the site, hope you're enjoying it here !!

I'm pretty sure I'm not sane anymore and whoever I talk to I feel so fucking alienated, I just wish I had someone to join me in my darkness

Can't say much in response to that other then I feel the same way. Sanity is a bit of a vauge word for me, but I don't think I fall under it's definition either. I also get the alienation. My personal alienation is due to my suicidal ideation. A lot of people alienate/generalise suicidal people so much, and it's genuinely the worst. Thankfully, it doesn't happen really on this site

 

[idktbf00]

Welcome to the site, hope you're enjoying it here !!


Can't say much in response to that other then I feel the same way. Sanity is a bit of a vauge word for me, but I don't think I fall under it's definition either. I also get the alienation. My personal alienation is due to my suicidal ideation. A lot of people alienate/generalise suicidal people so much, and it's genuinely the worst. Thankfully, it doesn't happen really on this site

Thank you for the words and idk, I just don't feel normal anymore. Like I don't belong to this world

My chest is in so much pain and it's so hard to breathe, I haven't felt like this in a while

 

[Front Back]

money I owe

On God man I literally took a loan to "survive" because I don't want to leave debts.
I hope we find peace, here or later on.