I'm all alone - NN method

[completely-done]

Hi! Long time lurker. Finally made an account.

I am practicing NN method with amateur materials until I get my real material in the mail next week.

Previously I applied for medical assistance in suicide, but since my sole diagnoses is severe mental illness, they rejected me. I cannot wait until it's legal for solely mental health reasons so I am taking matters into my own hands.

My plan is night-night method, as I have found the sweet spot a couple of times. I'm confident it will work when I'm ready in February. No one in my life is aware of my plans and I do not intend to leak nor will I ever hint at the possibility of me leaving life because my friends and family will find a way to screw everything up. They will want me to live because "we love you." Pssh like that makes a difference. Anytime I am honest with how I feel I end up bringing them down and lose friends and people scram away from me.

I'm all alone and I will die alone. Which sucks but it has to be done. I deserve peace.

I have no idea the intention of this post but I wanted to post because I'm craving some sort of connection before I ctb. Thank you for reading

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that people should be able to exit this world peacefully at a time of their own choosing, no one should have to resort to unreliable methods to end their pain. I also see it as better to not tell others about wanting to ctb as they can get in the way of plans. I'm sorry that things are so hopeless. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[YesImAware]

Find peace and move forward as you need. We are all alone in some way. It's doesn't make you less of a person.