I'm afraid that I will get scared of the pain and not follow through

[RuinedGirl]

I just don't know how to actually get it done. I've never died before. I'm really ready to go wherever is next.. If it is heaven or if it is nothing. It's been a couple decades and nothing has gotten better. I don't have a single memory of someone looking at me and smiling at me with love.. No family, no boyfriend. They all abused me.. Everyone who has found me has. It really hurts to live with the memories and loneliness. Knowing no one has ever liked a thing about you..

I feel really done today. The people around me will just keep using and hurting me and I won't find a way out that isn't worse

I want to go off the earth and see something else.. I want to be where I was before I was born. I don't have access to a gun in this country..

I think hanging might work.. I nearly did that once and I barely noticed my conscience slipping away. My boyfriend found me in time and hurt me really bad.

I kind of want to crash my car because I had someone co sign for that. I feel bad leaving someone with debt but I have the kind of insurance where they pay the whole thing if it's totaled. Only thing is there's no guarantee of death from that.

Any ideas

 

[bored_user]

fuck all humans, there are souls that weren't born to go through all kinds of human humiliation... we evolved the wrong way, today what prevails is the media, fame and money, and our real purposes? Living in harmony, in unity, being happy and progressing... all this went to waste. I hate this shitty system, whatever is on the other side will be better than this horrible experience.

 

[Crimsonghost3]

I wish I had a gun I'd be dead without a 2nd thought within a week of me owning one and I've said that for years too so many people. I'm going with partial hanging it's uncomfortable but when I get the right spot it doesn't seem to hurt. A lot of people on here like SN but I haven't looked into it. There's mega threads on a lot of methods I'd suggest reading through some seem if they help make you more comfortable with a certain method

 

[blueclover_.]

I wish I had a gun I'd be dead without a 2nd thought within a week of me owning one and I've said that for years too so many people. I'm going with partial hanging it's uncomfortable but when I get the right spot it doesn't seem to hurt. A lot of people on here like SN but I haven't looked into it. There's mega threads on a lot of methods I'd suggest reading through some seem if they help make you more comfortable with a certain method

I don't even have an anchor point. Dying is so hard! Sigh.

 

[Itsallover123]

I don't even have an anchor point. Dying is so hard! Sigh.

this is my setup: I tied my "noose" (bedsheet) to a broomstick and put the broomstick on the other side of the door, then closed the door and it holds all of my weight but its only tall enough for partial (I'm around 6'2)

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course suicide is very difficult as even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive. If it was easier I would already be gone. The society denies us a peaceful exit and many methods can fail. However many people have successfully ctb, I believe that knowledge and planning of the method is needed for this to happen.

Life is just so horrible and some people can be so cruel. It is understandable wanting to exit when you are constantly suffering. Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.