Venting I’m a failure of a woman

[failureofahuman]

I'm not pretty or naturally feminine. I'm disgusting and my body has no beauty to it. I'm not nurturing, socially adept, bubbly. I'm not curvy. I'm not sexually coy or shy. I'm not sexy, hot, cute, beautiful. I'm not voluptuous or soft. I wouldn't make a good mother because I'm depressed, cold, unempathetic, aggressive. I have nothing to offer to men or to the world. I just don't understand why I was born and have to continue to live if I'm inferior to everyone.

 

[shekindabadtho…]

I've felt the same way about who I was as a person but to be honest I've always avoided thinking about how hard it is to be perceived as an undesirable woman because I'm not even pretty enough to be objectified or useful even, it's like I'm an animal and it's even worse because I'm a black woman.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Sexually shy? Neither am I and I'm a woman. Is that supposed to be a good thing? I'm confident behind closed doors but I have severe social anxiety, but I am very good at hiding it and I come across as this happy, bubbly person, but it *does* depend on who I'm talking to. To men, if I don't want them near me, I'll come across as standoffish. Depends on the situation entirely. I go with the vibe

There's a lot of pressure on women, I know, I feel you too girl.

Who cares if you're not feminine, who has to be? We don't. I dress comfy, so men perceive me as a lesbian for that reason, and I'm glad they do, because I don't want them near me.

I think it's important to be yourself. Women should be how

Who cares if you can't offer a man something? Fuck them. You wasn't put on this planet for them (I know we are taught that but you know that isn't true).

Do as you please really. As long as you don't hurt others, what's the issue with being yourself?

 

[Seele]

I'm not pretty or naturally feminine. I'm disgusting and my body has no beauty to it. I'm not nurturing, socially adept, bubbly. I'm not curvy. I'm not sexually coy or shy. I'm not sexy, hot, cute, beautiful. I'm not voluptuous or soft. I wouldn't make a good mother because I'm depressed, cold, unempathetic, aggressive. I have nothing to offer to men or to the world. I just don't understand why I was born and have to continue to live if I'm inferior to everyone.

I feel that, but I think it would be better to focus more on what you enjoy. For example, I found something in cooking that I like. I'm not in a relationship, and I don't have many friends, but for a moment, this (cooking) makes me happy. I only think about CTB when life reaches a point where I truly can't bear it anymore.
I'm not sure if my words help, but it's something to think about.Take Care.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Most women are not naturally "feminine". Femininity and masculinity are a performance that one puts on, not something that is necessarily meant to be inherent to you because of your gender. There is nothing wrong with not being voluptuous or curvy, being open about your sexuality, or not having very "motherly" characteristics. That doesn't make you inferior to anyone. Most women do not fit the image of womanhood that society likes to project onto us. I definitely do not do a good job at fitting that image (I'm not very caring or empathetic, I'm quite rude, I don't want to be a mother, I'm aggressive, I'm not pretty, I am tall, etc) but that doesn't take away from me being a woman. Only you get to define what womanhood means to you, nobody else.

 

[deathproof17]

I have a lot of empathy for ugly women. Ugly men can kinda cope because men can be valuable in other ways. The main thing that makes men attractive is strength. If you are tall, muscular, rich, intelligent you can compensate for being ugly but if you are an ugly women you are just seen as undesirable and there isn't much you can do about it. It's why women have such a tough time when they get older and their looks fade.

 

[Ozzyno]

I'm not pretty or naturally feminine. I'm disgusting and my body has no beauty to it. I'm not nurturing, socially adept, bubbly. I'm not curvy. I'm not sexually coy or shy. I'm not sexy, hot, cute, beautiful. I'm not voluptuous or soft. I wouldn't make a good mother because I'm depressed, cold, unempathetic, aggressive. I have nothing to offer to men or to the world. I just don't understand why I was born and have to continue to live if I'm inferior to everyone.

You shouldn't live just to please men… but anyway there are lots of them that are attracted to women just like you. Not every man likes curvy women or feminine women. Don't feel inferior just because you are beautiful in a different way.

I have a lot of empathy for ugly women. Ugly men can kinda cope because men can be valuable in other ways. The main thing that makes men attractive is strength. If you are tall, muscular, rich, intelligent you can compensate for being ugly but if you are an ugly women you are just seen as undesirable and there isn't much you can do about it. It's why women have such a tough time when they get older and their looks fade.

This is unfortunately true for women but at the same time you don't have to be a model to be desiderable, not being feminine enough doesn't mean men will not find you attractive, there are lots of men that love 'masculine' women

 

[cloudyskye]

I'm not pretty or naturally feminine. I'm disgusting and my body has no beauty to it. I'm not nurturing, socially adept, bubbly. I'm not curvy. I'm not sexually coy or shy. I'm not sexy, hot, cute, beautiful. I'm not voluptuous or soft. I wouldn't make a good mother because I'm depressed, cold, unempathetic, aggressive. I have nothing to offer to men or to the world. I just don't understand why I was born and have to continue to live if I'm inferior to everyone.

I totally get what you're saying. All my life most people assumed I was a lesbian. I don't wear make up I don't do my hair nails etc.... I don't wear alluring clothes and I'm rude to most men and women. Trite as it sounds you really have to the realization what others think means nothing. Don't let your worth be dependent on others.

 

[carac]

You know I shouldn't really be on this forum, I am no longer suicidal and pretty much in recovery and doing well. But I stay here because I feel included. I too am a failure, I can't relate to people in the outside world, they have achieved things but there is a fakeness about them and everything feels about perception and secretly judging one another. Here people are real and interesting and unique, they are special and the people I encounter here I would never meet anywhere else.

 

[RiverOfLife]

I get it. I don't feel I have anything to offer in a relationship and I'm not sure I want one anyway.
But that doesn't make you a failure.
Doesn't make it easy for you to live in this world.

 

[dyingslowly]

I'm not pretty or naturally feminine. I'm disgusting and my body has no beauty to it. I'm not nurturing, socially adept, bubbly. I'm not curvy. I'm not sexually coy or shy. I'm not sexy, hot, cute, beautiful. I'm not voluptuous or soft. I wouldn't make a good mother because I'm depressed, cold, unempathetic, aggressive. I have nothing to offer to men or to the world. I just don't understand why I was born and have to continue to live if I'm inferior to everyone.

As an ugly dude, I can tell you something that will help u. The life is a race and a chance, not everybody gets to reproduce and not everybody becomes successful in life, it is just a truth of this life no matter what everybody tells you that you are pretty, desired, or whatever the fk not, don't let people fk ur mind up, please see what the reality is. I hit this reality back in 2020, I had the option to either believe in everybody is beautiful in their own way or you are the way you are "ugly", people don't care what is inside you. They only see you from outside and believe what they want to believe about you. People like us who are "inferior" we either serve the natural superiors or die and become food for other life forms. Like women who are like you they might be working themselves to death for which they are not even biologically engineered in the first place while a "superior" desired female can make thousands from an app just posting three pictures a day. I will answer your question from my perspective, if I don't have anything to offer a woman should I kill myself? I contemplated this for a long time, and I came to the conclusion, I should try to live a healthy life, do positive things till the point where I think I can unalive myself because I know I won't be able to keep myself maintained in the older age. For sexual desires, I can take meds to kill the desire, and it is going to work till I want it to work because of this solution I won't be bugging women like a fuoking creep. Look at "Social Darwinism theory" it is a good read.

 

[lifeisadream]

Everyone is beautiful, those who judge others & tell them they aren't are the ugly ones.

 

[leavingss]

I'm not pretty or naturally feminine. I'm disgusting and my body has no beauty to it. I'm not nurturing, socially adept, bubbly. I'm not curvy. I'm not sexually coy or shy. I'm not sexy, hot, cute, beautiful. I'm not voluptuous or soft. I wouldn't make a good mother because I'm depressed, cold, unempathetic, aggressive. I have nothing to offer to men or to the world. I just don't understand why I was born and have to continue to live if I'm inferior to everyone.

i'm the exact same way. i'm ugly and men just don't like me. i know i'll never have a boyfriend and i really don't see the point the point in living if i'll never know what it's like to love and be loved :(

 

[PlannedforPeru]

For sexual desires, I can take meds to kill the desire, and it is going to work till I want it to work because of this solution I won't be bugging women like a fuoking creep. Look at "Social Darwinism theory" it is a good read.

You have any med recommendations?

 

[charcoalcat]

As an observer I believe this society still judge women harshly based on their looks, and men based on their social status. People won't openly convey it, but that's how it has been ingrained in our way of thinking for centuries.

 

[VVL]

Shit, I couldn't relate more to this. After years of being depressed I have lost all my beauty. Lost a lot of weight, have no curves, have a lot of scars due to SH and I've started to go bald 6 months ago. I don't feel like a woman anymore. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror or at my hair falling out everyday. I don't see the point in living in this body that has got ruined, totally ruined bc I don't think bleeding like crazy everytime I go to the bathroom mean anything nice.
The worst part is that it does feel like being pretty was the only thing I could offer as a woman. When I was younger people would ALWAYS tell me "don't be sad, you are a pretty girl" That was the only virtue I had... Now that I'm horrendous I have nothing.

 

[Sasukecel]

I can semi relate because I'm a failure of a man

 

[dyingslowly]

You have any med recommendations?

I am using a combination of escitalopram and xanax, xanax is not directly important but you will know why it is. So, the SSRI has a s-xual side effect that can make it impossible for you to get s-xual no matter how hard the stimulus is there. I don't remember that last time I jked off I don't know. The issue with SSRIs is that this side effect disappears after a while when levels are normalized. So, my strategy is to keep the level disturbed so my body doesn't know how much of this chemical or if any will be taken in. This has worked very well in the months from going crazy for women, I can hardly feel anything different about them now. The natural motivation is long gone neither they want me, nor I do have anything in me to go after them. Now for the xanax part, it is used because the SSRI doesn't only have the beneficial side effects it has whole host of nasty side effects. To go through those torture filled times xanax is taken. Note: if you are going this route then remember it will get what you desire, but not for free. This has a very hefty price tag that if you are willing to pay in the long run then yes go for it, in my honest opinion it is still worth it a million times more than getting called a creep lol. It might also cause cancers (especially thyroid) in the long run since what you are doing to your body will make it an ideal place for cancers to appear so, be prepared to catch the bus when those start to appear and become troublesome. I am personally having thyroid issues after doing this for 9 months (I was a healthy person no significant medical history). My hot and cold tolerance are affected like I don't feel cold until I start to cough, and I do feel like dying after temps rise above normal body temp. Also, in general you are going to face issues that you have never faced before, at least your cwack won't bother u anymore. Best of luck :)