I'm 35 years old and still live with my parents

[NothingElseMatters]

Is that pathetic? Everytime I tell that to someone they give me a big "wow". I know I'm old but I'd rather save some money than spent all I have buying an apartment.

 

[WornOutLife]

No, it's not pathetic at all.
Living alone is TOO EXPENSIVE.

I'm renting an apartment and all my salary goes away instantly. I can't even save!!! It sucks! I could work more but I'm too lazy and also, I just couldn't live with my parents anymore. I needed freedom! (don't want to post a testament but I had lost my freedom some months ago after failing to ctb. You can't imagine the hell I was through lol so, if you can stand your family, it's great to keep on living with them. )

What you're doing is okay. As long as you don't have a rush to live alone, keep on saving! You could even have your own house in some years!

Btw, 33 here.

 

[yellow_boat]

Think many of us will end up living with them as well when they (and us) become older.

 

[WornOutLife]

Think many of us will end up living with them as well when they (and us) become older.

This is so true! Unless you send them to an old people's home (which here in Argentina, it's WAY TOO EXPENSIVE!!)

 

[Makko]

Can't imagine sharing my living space with others. Private amenities is the best thing money can buy. What are you saving for, if not that?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

You decide what's pathetic, no one else. I'm 22 and I have no reason or ability to move out, and I don't think I ever will. Live alone in an apartment, for what purpose? If I suddenly got a girlfriend I'd change my mind but I'm not delusional anymore, I'll be jacking off until I jump. By the way, I've lived alone for a combined year or so when failing at studies and other situations and I never got anything out of it. I don't have a problem with it, but I don't gain anything from living alone, especially if I have to enrich some guy that actually owns the place in doing so.

 

[Fehler]

I don't find it pathetic, it is increasingly difficult to become independent and more alone. I was lucky enough to be able to live in my mother's apartment and to be able to save for 4 years what I got working. If it hadn't been for her, right now I would be without a coin.

 

[WinterIsComing]

In China people live with their parents from what i know

 

[sauvenchy]

Agreed, nothing pathetic about it friend. In some cultures kids stay their whole lives with parents.

Besides who cares? I think a lot of the times the parents appreciate it if you have a good standing with them. Don't worry too much about it and don't compare yourself with other people or what society thinks. Pretty hard to follow this advice, but worth it.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I'm 25 and living with my mom. The amount of shame I feel because of this is immense.

 

[Hurt]

I live with my parents and I feel a lot of shame because of that too. I'm so sorry

 

[Teas]

I have no choice but to live with my mom. Goddamn rent is expensive here and buying a house in this time? Pfftttt...never will I be able to afford that in my entire life.

 

[whywere]

I am 64 years young and I have ALWAYS rowed my boat my way. The heck with what people say. I think that you are very smart. DO NOT EVER listen to ANYONE but yourself. I have never "followed the herd" and never will. You are a smart, caring person and tell others that have a idea about how you should live your life to take a flying leap!! Walter

 

[Shadowrider]

Is that pathetic? Everytime I tell that to someone they give me a big "wow". I know I'm old but I'd rather save some money than spent all I have buying an apartment.

No, I don't think so.
Not everyone can afford to buy or rent an own apartment. This is quite bad and might lead to humiliating situations, but it definitely does not make you pathetic.
Sadly enough, in the last few years sociologists began to talk about the "mom hotel" phenomenon - many adults don't - or can't - move out from their parents' house. Economists do enjoy analyzing how it correlates with real estate prices and all the financial crap that I don't want to talk about here, otherwise I would be fairly motivated to CTB right now!
So: not pathetic at all, even if it leads to some awkward scenes. You are not pathetic just because you are not spending your whole salary on rent while living on crackers and tinned beans.

 

[blue_muse]

Nothing pathetic about being economical, you sound pragmatic NEM .

 

[jrums]

I'm 39 and various mental, physical, and neurological problems have kept me at home with my mom. I always had trouble keeping jobs. It always sucked and made me more insecure about meeting women, etc. I now have brain damage from antidepressants so obviously not going anywhere. But now living at home is the least of my problems. It's really only a problem because if I lived on my own I would have CTB already. Anyway I will be ending it in the coming months so none of it matters anyway. You are not pathetic. Whether it's economics or being born with a bad brain, or both, much of this is beyond our control. And in the end none of it matters. Just do you.

 

[awfullife]

I'm 41 and live with my dad. It's pretty embarrassing I must admit. I'm a former health care executive and top performer who had a mental breakdown after divorce/ career failure. It's a good time.

 

[stygal]

I don't think there's anything wrong or embarrassing to it. Everyone has there own reasonings and obstacles why their life went a certain way.

If one has supportive and understanding parents - I say that's a wonderful thing.

I never gotten the luxury to stay with my family for very long without them pulling the "your an adult now - don't be a mooch " - card.

It does have its positives to live alone though, no endless discussions about meaningless shit and nobody can dictate any rules on to you.

 

[Coffeandamug]

I'm 25 and living with my mom. The amount of shame I feel because of this is immense.

Same, also gay Neet. Not narcissistic though. Hate myself.

 

[Sherri]

No it's not pathetic, each time that goes by older sons that once had a house and a mortgage are moving back to their parents mainly because of economic reasons, I know some cases where wives and children also moved in. And don't be so hard on yourself 35 old? That's. O told at all. I wish you the best and don't blame yourself. There are people I'm worse situations. Hugs

 

[thisplaceisaprison]

I guess someone deep dived into a year ago, I wouldn't say it's pathetic. It's kind they let you live with them instead of being homeless, but if they're just a meal ticket with a roof and you're not doing anything then society looks down on that. I'm 26 and sometimes wish I could minus the two step parents haha.

 

[whatevs]

Of course that it's generally seen as pathetic, but if you manage to create your own standards and feel content with your abiding-by-custom-standards achievements you should be fine. But I haven't been able to do that. Society's standards keep looking more sane and rewarding than whatever I'm grasping at... For now.

 

[Lost Magic]

Nope. I was caring for my mother at her home in my early to mid 30's. I swear no wonder we are so fucked up in this society. We have these stupid stereotypes that make people feel insecure about just living different lives due to circumstances or choices. I would rather live with my mother than be all alone like I am now. Seriously, don't pay any attention. Do what works best for you and ignore the amount of sucky advice out there. lol, no wonder I want to leave this world. So much stupidity and narcissism.

 

[doli_o]

Not in the slightest, no - if anything, it's odd to hear people are reacting that way. Virtually all countries (western ones, at least) have a rapidly ageing population and few are equipped to cope with it, plus there's a housing crisis/stagnant wages to deal with on top of all that. I don't know where you live but in the UK, plenty of people live with family/parents and it's not something you need to justify to anyone.

Also - I'm a 34yr old asian female. The fact that I *don't* live with family (in lieu of a husband and/or in-laws) is odd as it's considered the norm to some in the asian community. From a white/traditionally western perspective, some people would consider that weird. Either way, it's just about perspective! And whilst I might feel low about the way I live and how alone I feel, anyone who tries to make me feel weird or abnormal about it can eat a bag of dicks.

 

[Samsal112]

I am 33 and moved back in with my parents about 2 years ago. Not only do I not think it is pathetic, but I do not hide it from people. I have had *some* people try to make me feel bad, but after I tell them the amount of money I have in my savings, they shut right up. I have some friends who want me to buy a house near them, and I think, "No. Your house is basic and small. With what I am saving, I can have a house I truly love." I lived alone for about 12 years and I do believe it contributed to my depression. I get along with my parents and really enjoy their company. I realized after moving in with them that coming home to an empty house really made me a recluse and upped my social anxiety. Also, when living alone, I could never save more than 10,000 in the bank. So, I would have never been able to afford a house.

I'm 41 and live with my dad. It's pretty embarrassing I must admit. I'm a former health care executive and top performer who had a mental breakdown after divorce/ career failure. It's a good time.

Are you saying that you had a mental breakdown? I moved in with my parents after I got sick, and someone I know tries to make me feel bad about "living off my parents." I usually subtly remind him that my parents love me and are supportive, so I am blessed to have such parents. Whenever I tell people how blessed or lucky I am to have loving parents that usually shuts them right the fuck up. He could never move in with his parents because they were never that close and from the stories he tells, they were pretty selfish. Don't feel embarrassed, you have a loving father who is there for you and supportive when life happened. I am sure your dad also loves having you. I do not "live off my parents" as my friend says. I pay for a lot of the household things, and my mom always tells me that I make their life more exciting because there is someone else in the house.

 

[_Seeking]

I think for people that have a good relationship with their parents it is a good idea, as living alone is very expensive. But if your parent(s) is/are abusive, it is not advised. I moved in with my parents as my mom was dying, once she died it then became a total nightmare, as my dad took out everything on me. I had to make a run for it and get an AirBnB until I found a place of my own. I stupidly thought he would have gotten better as he was older and in need of help, but they only get worse with age.

 

[Of The Universe]

Is that pathetic? Everytime I tell that to someone they give me a big "wow". I know I'm old but I'd rather save some money than spent all I have buying an apartment.

My advice: Get out now. Don't rely on parents cuz parents die!

 

[summers]

Think many of us will end up living with them as well when they (and us) become older.

Fuck that, I would never let either of my parents live with me. They can go to a nursing home or just die. Well, technically one already died lol.