Discussion If you were to take SN, what would you do in the 15 minutes it takes to get unconscious?

[claracatchingthebus]

When I last tried to poison myself to death, after I took the stuff I cried and waited and then there was the physical pain of vomitting. I was just waiting, and nervous. The idea that somehow it will be easy is probably not realistic. I did survive that poisoning attempt but it hurt really bad. I have a hard time believing SN would hurt more, but I suppose I can't know. I was in screaming writhing pain at points, but it was a poison known for being painful, and I just took it anywya because I lacked options.

 

[L'appel Du Vide]

A DMT breakthrough could be an incredible way to go from conscious to oxygen loss. Maybe also terrifying if you came out of it during the conscious confusion state though, if timed too early. What if you could just go straight from the trip into whatever the NDE experience is like with this method, or straight into oblivion? Would the trip be changed by loss of oxygen to the brain? You might not be in your body for the physical side effects that poisoning would cause. I don't know if I would actually try it though.

Besides that I think I just have music to listen to and final thoughts to express if I wanted to leave behind notes or an audio recording.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

A DMT breakthrough could be an incredible way to go from conscious to oxygen loss. Maybe also terrifying if you came out of it during the conscious confusion state though, if timed too early. What if you could just go straight from the trip into whatever the NDE experience is like with this method, or straight into oblivion? Would the trip be changed by loss of oxygen to the brain? You might not be in your body for the physical side effects that poisoning would cause. I don't know if I would actually try it though.

Besides that I think I just have music to listen to and final thoughts to express if I wanted to leave behind notes or an audio recording.

omg i would never do this, how terrifying

With so many hard drugs you can barely think at all, ie acid ketamine etc, you coukd end up forgetting why you wanted to die and be left with only the terror of death.

If i am dying, by choice, i want to remember the cruelty and the frustration to help make the fear less painful. Gosh, people have just been so fucking mean to me, all the damn time.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Daydreaming about what could've been, remembering who mattered, and berating myself for where I went wrong.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Pet my dogs one last time, then play skyrim lol

I wouldn't have my pets near me because if I vomit they would probably lick it up and possibly die too. Just something to keep in mind.

omg i would never do this, how terrifying

With so many hard drugs you can barely think at all, ie acid ketamine etc, you coukd end up forgetting why you wanted to die and be left with only the terror of death.

If i am dying, by choice, i want to remember the cruelty and the frustration to help make the fear less painful. Gosh, people have just been so fucking mean to me, all the damn time.

Ketamine feels amazing. Even though it didn't help my depression, it felt like I had left my body and died. It was so peaceful.

 

[Nightfoot]

I'd like to think I would just relax and wait, but I might just as easily (or even more likely) be freaked out knowing I was about to die and feeling it happen.

 

[eternalpace]

As a hypothetical, how would I spend the final fifteen minutes? I'd say a final prayer, close my eyes, focus on the music playing in my ears, and wait for the moment of truth.

 

[EternalShore]

I'd like to do SN for this very reason~ ^_^ I'd like to read the Bible and pray, so that I would hopefully be able to go to Heaven, and that my final acts would be for God rather than potentially sinful~

 

[worthless123]

Yup. I've since learned about this possibility and saw some videos (including the chinese one)

I've heard about the chinese video but I'm too scared to watch it. Can you briefly summarize what happens in it?

 

[corpse]

I would lie down, close my eyes, listen to music and wait.

 

[whybother2002]

I've heard about the chinese video but I'm too scared to watch it. Can you briefly summarize what happens in it?

He stars convulsing a lot and doesn't pass out quick. TBF apparently he took too much SN.

 

[Sord17]

Personally I'll load up Skyrim. After Helgen it feels like anything is possible and I'm being embraced by a world that can realise me in that first 10-20 minutes of play. IMO you shouldn't take SN if you're going to be genuinely terrified while it takes effect, that's the sign to take some time and reconsider.

 

[whybother2002]

Personally I'll load up Skyrim. After Helgen it feels like anything is possible and I'm being embraced by a world that can realise me in that first 10-20 minutes of play. IMO you shouldn't take SN if you're going to be genuinely terrified while it takes effect, that's the sign to take some time and reconsider.

Let me just say this: you buy SN, you make the plans. You hate your life and want to die. The day comes and you do everything that needs to be done. Then, in the 30 minutes it takes to pass out you accidently stumble upon a memory, a photo, your pet comes in your room. From that time on you get a rush of feelings. You're not terrified of death, but you just wish you could get better and live. Then that time turns into hell.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

goodbye emails

I'm at a point where I would just leave everyone hanging. If I had a method lined up. I'm too depressed for suicide. I have so little motivation.

 

[Sord17]

Let me just say this: you buy SN, you make the plans. You hate your life and want to die. The day comes and you do everything that needs to be done. Then, in the 30 minutes it takes to pass out you accidently stumble upon a memory, a photo, your pet comes in your room. From that time on you get a rush of feelings. You're not terrified of death, but you just wish you could get better and live. Then that time turns into hell.

That's fair, I can see I'm probably slightly insensitive because I can't imagine anything that would make me wish my life could continue and be good. I understand it's conflicting, my point is just that you can always take more time to prepare and affirm if this is what you want. Your death will last for ever, after all, there's no need to rush.

 

[without_chance]

I'd drink a shit ton of amanita tea so I'd go unconscious quickly, potentially before the SN starts affecting me. That shit knocks me out like a light. I nearly (accidentally) overdosed on it about a year ago. I'd need to do research to make sure none of the chemicals in the tea would interfere, though.

 

[Alex_Was_Here]

I think I would probably listen to an audio book and dust off my Gameboy Advance, load up a new save of pokemon leaf green and hope the audio book or the game ingrains itself enough that I dream of either one for eternity.

 

[Markisloggingout]

So I was walking home from the dentist yesterday and I thought it would be nice to take the SN and go for a little walk around my housing estate. Of course, collapsing in the middle of the pavement wouldn't be ideal but still

 

[MourningFlower]

I've read that your hearing is the last sense to leave before you CTB, so probably listen to music.

 

[Markisloggingout]

Might be harsh, but if you're scared when you ingest the SN, you shouldn't do it in the first place. Take some time to question why you're scared of it, determine whether you actually want to go through the process, and only if you're able to assuage your fears should you make that choice. For me, if I do decide to take SN, it's because I've made the decision I truly want to die, which is why I'll be fine listening to a playlist as I wait for my last sleep to take hold. There's a fine line between survival instinct and being scared to die that this forum often conflates and it matters.

That's a good point but I think even if you're 100% sure you could experience SI-related panic. Not regret, but panic.

 

[wishingiwasok]

Very well said. Fear of fear itself is such a real and difficult thing to overcome, for me anyway. I'm also scared of the complete relinquishing of control that comes with SN. In my specific circumstances, once I drink it, it's over. 100%. I don't live close enough to any medical facilities that would have the proper resources to help me. Nobody would find me fast enough even if I did. It's over, and that's why I need to be absolutely certain it's what I want. Because once its down the hatch, my fate is sealed.

That's both reassuring and terrifying, and right now, it's keeping me paralyzed with fear. I'm not quite sure how to go about overcoming it either. I feel like I'm just sitting around waiting for an epiphany or something.

This thread is very helpful for me, because the 15 minute wait is what my mind lingers on the most. I'm not sure how I'm "supposed" to spend it. It's like I want to do something meaningful, but how meaningful can anything really be in such a short amount of time? I'm definitely overthinking it, I'm aware.

Maybe spend it on something you really love or loved at one point. So not just any song but a favorite song. Not just any movie but one you've gone back to over and over to feel the way it always makes you feel.

 

[Carrot]

I'd like to do something I like, use my computer, but I'd be worried that I would call for help. If I somehow end up living, I don't want it to be covered in vomit as well. So probably just lay down and wait.

 

[Amarajoy]

I want to die so much but this part scares me. I've read people here talking about listening to their playlist — I don't think this will calm me. What if I embrace the death watching beautiful movie scenes? I don't know. It's really hard. I don't have access to alprazolam or diazepam anymore since I tried OD.

I don't know if I will be coherent or physically well enough to do anything except pray. I'll probably pray. I'm simultaneously not at all afraid and absolutely terrified.

That's fair. I'm not of the belief that humans are robots, but neither do I believe we're animals controlled by biochemical responses. Which is why I am left to wonder what I will experience in my final moments. Some people have said they felt relief, others felt enough panic to call emergency services, where each person lies is their own experience which cannot be determined until they commit to it.

I think I might panic because I'll know it's the end and that panic is primal. That is SI. Fear of death is natural SI. It's terror and I'm not really sure how to prep for or mitigate that. But I believe there is probably life after death and that seems to scare me the mos

From the reports I've read you don't always pass out around the 15 minute mark. Some are unfortunate enough to stay conscious for up to 45 minutes. Just putting it out there as something to consider for those going with this method.

Do you mind sharing these reports? Reflecting on what I've come across they don't seem alert and oriented. They might still be breathing or moaning but not conscious like we are right now. But maybe I've not come across the accounts you are referring to.

 

[idiotmother]

Probably cry uncontrollably, I wish it wasn't like this. Life really fucks some of us over and leaves us no choice.