If I CTB, they win. Can't let them win.

[Perpetually99]

I have debilitating invisible health conditions that have been plaguing me for over a decade. I have been tempted to CTB, because of the emotional turmoil that comes with being maligned and marginalized, and being made to seem like I am a delusional, hypochondriac, with no will power. I am the strongest person most people will come across. That's why I got sick. My mental strength is off the charts. But my body could not keep up.

If I succumb and choose to CTB, the family and friends who have been saying this is all just depression and a mental illness, will win. They will get to say "I told you so. He was never a fighter. He is weak minded. He is a shame on this family." They will try to erase me from their memory because of the shame. And they will never know the truth. Not that I am weak, but that I have been strong for far too long.

How can I end it, without having it seem like a CTB. Or can I just disappear? Is it possible to go to a desolate location, and never be found? Will I end up on the news?

Thank You for any input.

 

[the_final_countdown]

I have debilitating invisible health conditions that have been plaguing me for over a decade. I have been tempted to CTB, because of the emotional turmoil that comes with being maligned and marginalized, and being made to seem like I am a delusional, hypochondriac, with no will power. I am the strongest person most people will come across. That's why I got sick. My mental strength is off the charts. But my body could not keep up.

If I succumb and choose to CTB, the family and friends who have been saying this is all just depression and a mental illness, will win. They will get to say "I told you so. He was never a fighter. He is weak minded. He is a shame on this family." They will try to erase me from their memory because of the shame. And they will never know the truth. Not that I am weak, but that I have been strong for far too long.

How can I end it, without having it seem like a CTB. Or can I just disappear? Is it possible to go to a desolate location, and never be found? Will I end up on the news?

Thank You for any input.

What invisible health conditions do you have friend?

 

[Antigonish]

You have to change your focus. I say move away. Being surrounded by people toxic for you is no good. They when whether CTB or not. Either they get to torture, or kill without laying a single finger. Just food for thought.

 

[Rif]

Your mindset seemingly needs to change. People who CTB IMHO usually are in despair and usually do not care if anyone else "wins" or "gets even".

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Good for you!!