If i am still single at 30 I plan to kill myself because i cant cope anymore

[FireFox]

Love is often temporarily though. Half of marriages end in divorce. It hurts like hell when they leave and find someone else

They are terrible for women most dudes are just on there for sex and half of them are married

This is true thats why I stay away from dating im to mentally unstable

Dating apps I don't use because the success rate is extremely low for black women research has been done into this. Being a black woman dating is hard because even our own men don't want us. The black boys that regularly terrorised me at school where always nicer to the white girls and these boys are now all married to white women. People make fun of our features but non black women opt for plastic surgery to enhance lips and bottoms.

Previous generations of men had to actually work to get themselves a woman to be interested in them today men are far too entilted because pornography and dating apps have increased men's expectations of what they want in a woman and demand their "right" to have a particular woman. Too many men believe they are entilted to a supermodel girlfriend.

 

[divinemistress87]

Dating apps I don't use because the success rate is extremely low for black women research has been done into this. Being a black woman dating is hard because even our own men don't want us. The black boys that regularly terrorised me at school where always nicer to the white girls and these boys are now all married to white women. People make fun of our features but non black women opt for plastic surgery to enhance lips and bottoms.

Previous generations of men had to actually work to get themselves a woman to be interested in them today men are far too entilted because pornography and dating apps have increased men's expectations of what they want in a woman and demand their "right" to have a particular woman. Too many men believe they are entilted to a supermodel girlfriend.

I always thought darker skinned women were beautiful and they usually look younger than they are less wrinkles

 

[Yarani]

I always thought darker skinned women were beautiful and they usually look younger than they are less wrinkles

Ohh I'm not the only one? Fascinating ...
I always found dark skin beautiful. Also met a dark skinned woman in her 50s who looks like she's in her 30s. Beautiful woman, too. Anecdotal, of course. Still think it's beautiful. No particular reason.
OP, sorry, don't want to derail your thread. I think there are men who would appreciate you. The difficulty lies in finding them. I agree that putting pressure on yourself can be an obstacle though. Also 30 is an arbitrary number. What if it happens 1 day, month, year, decade later. Up to you

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Previous generations of men had to actually work to get themselves a woman to be interested in them today men are far too entilted because pornography and dating apps have increased men's expectations of what they want in a woman and demand their "right" to have a particular woman. Too many men believe they are entilted to a supermodel girlfriend.

Most of this is the exact opposite of reality. The stats show women rejecting the overwhelming majority of men on dating apps and rating 99% of men as below average. On the other hand, men's standards were much more reasonable. You literally have 80% of women all chasing 10% of men (and refusing to accept anything else). And then of course those women wonder why they get cheated on too.

You're correct that black women are rated as the least attractive, but someone has to be last, and men are still happily trying to date average women, whereas the reverse isn't true.

It's most women who have options. I was completely astounded recently to discover that women on apps didn't even click on the general tab for finding people and simply swiped left or right on the huge queue of men who'd already liked them. If I did that I'd be swiping once a month!

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Most of this is the exact opposite of reality. The stats show women rejecting the overwhelming majority of men on dating apps and rating 99% of men as below average. On the other hand, men's standards were much more reasonable. You literally have 80% of women all chasing 10% of men (and refusing to accept anything else). And then of course those women wonder why they get cheated on too.

Men on dating apps are mainly looking for hookups and will swipe right on anyone they'd sleep with (not necessarily ones they find genuinely attractive, just "good enough for sex"). Women on apps are mainly looking for relationships and are taking their swiping seriously, actually reading through profiles etc. That's why you see a huge disparity in swipe data.

Also unattractive or average men are just as likely as good looking men to cheat or abuse women in other ways. That has to do with personality type (being selfish, narcissistic, or sociopathic, having anger issues or jealousy issues, how they were raised to view women, and a variety of other factors) - not based on how they look. And it's never a woman's fault when she gets cheated on or abused, that is a victim-blaming mentality.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Men on dating apps are mainly looking for hookups and will swipe right on anyone they'd sleep with (not necessarily ones they find genuinely attractive, just "good enough for sex"). Women on apps are mainly looking for relationships and are taking their swiping seriously, actually reading through profiles etc. That's why you see a huge disparity in swipe data.

Also unattractive or average men are just as likely as good looking men to cheat or abuse women in other ways. That has to do with personality type (being selfish, narcissistic, or sociopathic, having anger issues or jealousy issues, how they were raised to view women, and a variety of other factors) - not based on how they look. And it's never a woman's fault when she gets cheated on or abused, that is a victim-blaming mentality.

Sorry, but if you chase a hot guy who gets endless attention from countless women, isn't completely interested/nice, and is obviously promiscuous, then it's inevitable that he'll cheat.

So many women want to date the same small percentage of guys and are often delusional about their own level of attractiveness too.

As for cheating, as an average guy I simply can't cheat very easily on a partner, simply because I don't have an options. I don't think you understand the reality of dating for most men.

 

[astr4]

Sorry, but if you chase a hot guy who gets endless attention from countless women, isn't completely interested/nice, and is obviously promiscuous, then it's inevitable that he'll cheat.

So many women want to date the same small percentage of guys and are often delusional about their own level of attractiveness too.

might be your experience but it's pretty unempathetic to be like "well its your fault you chose him" lol u ever consider idk not invalidating other people's experiences?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Most of this is the exact opposite of reality. The stats show women rejecting the overwhelming majority of men on dating apps and rating 99% of men as below average. On the other hand, men's standards were much more reasonable. You literally have 80% of women all chasing 10% of men (and refusing to accept anything else). And then of course those women wonder why they get cheated on too.

You're correct that black women are rated as the least attractive, but someone has to be last, and men are still happily trying to date average women, whereas the reverse isn't true.

It's most women who have options. I was completely astounded recently to discover that women on apps didn't even click on the general tab for finding people and simply swiped left or right on the huge queue of men who'd already liked them. If I did that I'd be swiping once a month!

Wow, gotta to love it when some random dude proceeds to blame you for your dating troubles because you are a woman./s

First off, using dating app stats doesn't mean much when you still need to try and prove that said results apply to real-world situations revolving around dating. Also, to automatically conclude that the results of those statistics are because women are shallow and looking for men out of their league is just plain stupid.

Potential factors and explanations, ranging from Parental Investment Theory, safety, differences in how society treats promiscuity in women vs men, and differences in the amount of effort put into physical appearances by both genders (dating apps put a lot of emphasis on appearance and women generally are held to a higher standard when it comes to looks in comparison men) be damn! As we all know, the only reason why women might be more picky on dating apps is because they are all shallow and full of themselves./s

Secondly, dude, I've come across men who don't put any effort into their appearance and who are complete assholes but yet act like they've got the whole package and are entitled to women way out of their league. This isn't some gendered phenomenon. Some people are just full of themselves. I've also come across many women who settle for men who are way below their league and who treat them like shit. The only reason why women's dating standards are rising at the moment is because women can live more independently now and are thus now afforded the luxury of actually being able to look for a good partner instead of being forced to settle. Even then, many women still have very low standards when it comes to dating.

If women have options, so do men. Your entire reply just comes off as you projecting your misogynistic bitterness surrounding your lackluster dating life onto @FireFox . If you are going to be this rude to her then why bother even commenting on her thread in the first place? Maybe instead of complaining about and blaming women you could instead work on that attitude of yours.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Sorry, but if you chase a hot guy who gets endless attention from countless women, isn't completely interested/nice, and is obviously promiscuous, then it's inevitable that he'll cheat.

So many women want to date the same small percentage of guys and are often delusional about their own level of attractiveness too.

As for cheating, as an average guy I simply can't cheat very easily on a partner, simply because I don't have an options. I don't think you understand the reality of dating for most men.

Unattractive men can cheat with prostitutes or sugar babies and it's not uncommon for them to do so. Just because they can't pick up random women on the street doesn't mean they can't cheat at all. And an attractive man having lots of options does not mean he's incapable of loyalty or resisting temptation either. Again, this depends entirely on individual personality traits, not level of attractiveness.

As someone who has been abused by men who are widely considered unattractive by American society, I dislike this myth that only attractive men treat women badly and that less attractive men are nice guys who would never hurt a woman. It's simply not true.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Wow, gotta to love it when some random dude proceeds to blame you for your dating troubles because you are a woman./s

First off, using dating app stats doesn't mean much when you still need to try and prove that said results apply to real-world situations revolving around dating. Also, to automatically conclude that the results of those statistics are because women are shallow and looking for men out of their league is just plain stupid.

Potential factors and explanations, ranging from Parental Investment Theory, safety, differences in how society treats promiscuity in women vs men, and differences in the amount of effort put into physical appearances by both genders (dating apps put a lot of emphasis on appearance and women generally are held to a higher standard when it comes to looks in comparison men) be damn! As we all know, the only reason why women might be more picky on dating apps is because they are all shallow and full of themselves./s

Secondly, dude, I've come across men who don't put any effort into their appearance and who are complete assholes but yet act like they've got the whole package and are entitled to women way out of their league. This isn't some gendered phenomenon. Some people are just full of themselves. I've also come across many women who settle for men who are way below their league and who treat them like shit. The only reason why women's dating standards are rising at the moment is because women can live more independently now and are thus now afforded the luxury of actually being able to look for a good partner instead of being forced to settle. Even then, many women still have very low standards when it comes to dating.

If women have options, so do men. Your entire reply just comes off as you projecting your misogynistic bitterness surrounding your lackluster dating life onto @FireFox . If you are going to be this rude to her then why bother even commenting on her thread in the first place? Maybe instead of complaining about and blaming women you could instead work on that attitude of yours.

Women get far more choice in terms of who they date than men do. Men are expected to go through hundreds of rejections, which means we have to approach all kinds of women.

If women are doing the picking, then ultimately they're responsible for the choices they make.

And I'm not simply blaming women for everything. Certainly dating app companies are massively responsible for the current situation and the media definitely pushes and celebrates toxic femininity.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Women get far more choice in terms of who they date than men do. Men are expected to go through hundreds of rejections, which means we have to approach all kinds of women.

If women are doing the picking, then ultimately they're responsible for the choices they make.

And I'm not simply blaming women for everything. Certainly dating app companies are massively responsible for the current situation and the media definitely pushes and celebrates toxic femininity.

You aren't blaming women yet you are also blaming women? First off, your first statement does not even apply to the OP since she was the one going through constant rejections. Secondly, where did you get the idea that women have more choices? What is this claim based on? A person can only choose something based on however many options are available to them. Thirdly, do you even know what toxic femininity is or did you just hear the term "toxic masculinity" and rather than actually look into what that means you instead decided to just start using the term toxic femininity out of spite? Toxic femininity refers to restricting yourself to feminine behaviours for the sake of appealing to men. It's an unhealthy and toxic form of femininity that has nothing to do with what is being discussed.

 

[astr4]

Women get far more choice in terms of who they date than men do. Men are expected to go through hundreds of rejections, which means we have to approach all kinds of women.

If women are doing the picking, then ultimately they're responsible for the choices they make.

And I'm not simply blaming women for everything. Certainly dating app companies are massively responsible for the current situation and the media definitely pushes and celebrates toxic femininity.

it doesn't even sound like you wanna date women all that badly tbh not sure why you're upset

 

[stillunemployed]

I turn 36 in few months.

My last sort of relationship was twelve years ago, after that there was just isolation, because I was more comfortable being high all the time than putting any effort towards socializing, work or anything that would be a good decision for someone at that age. My excuse is anxiety and paranoia.

I could blame others for my circumstances. Others around me tend to be brutal bullies and ruthlessly successful. Most of those my age, anyway.

Now all of that is over. Something I truly did not expect happened, and I've lost interest in drugs, games, porn, bullshit...
Started intensely exercising.

I feel like De niro in Taxi Driver. Like a ticking time bomb.

If you want, you can compare yourself to me or tell yourself you're not alone, or just use me as a cautionary tale.

I doubt I will ever meet anyone similar/compatible to myself. And if I somehow do, I will be probably suspicious of their motives and most definitely will they be of mine.

 

[Ceterum]

43 male here. my most important relationship crashed in April - we wanted children initially, but I wasnt enough. She was 31.
Maybe my ADHS, maybe my depression. I cannot picture any future anymore whatsoever and if I cannot make my family dreams come true, there is nothing left in this world for me. I dont want to compensate with pointless work or whatever

 

[jbear824]

I fucking hate that we live in a society that tells people that they are failures, or that something is wrong with them if they don't have sex or romantic love in their life.

It's fucking false. They need us to breed to replenish the workforce and nothing more. They need us to feel like failures if we don't have these things because then we're not helping to keep the actual failure (capitalism) propped up.

You don't need these things to be happy. They can enhance your life, sure. But it is a falsehood that happiness or contentment can't be found without them.

Don't let society tell you what you should be doing or feeling.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

43 male here. my most important relationship crashed in April - we wanted children initially, but I wasnt enough. She was 31.
Maybe my ADHS, maybe my depression. I cannot picture any future anymore whatsoever and if I cannot make my family dreams come true, there is nothing left in this world for me. I dont want to compensate with pointless work or whatever

Does it have to be your own biological children to make you happy? I've met lots of single moms over the years who would love to have a man step in and be a father to their children. It seems difficult for them to find anyone so they are not picky about what the guy looks like or anything. Instant family right there.

(I'm childfree so I don't understand the urge to have kids either way or why people seem to be adverse to raising children that are not theirs biologically...)

 

[Sheller]

不要为了得到他们的爱而牺牲自己太多，因为他们不知道他们比你自私得多，多。找一个善良老实的人，和他发生性关系，性关系结束后你要学会承担责任，保护自己，不管是身体上还是精神上，都要保护自己

 

[Ceterum]

Does it have to be your own biological children to make you happy? I've met lots of single moms over the years who would love to have a man step in and be a father to their children. It seems difficult for them to find anyone so they are not picky about what the guy looks like or anything. Instant family right there.

yes, own biological needed. No need for cildren, which are gone as soon as a relationship ends. then nothing remains.

 

[ylenol]

It's painful to read and feel how alienated you are from the idea of needing someone else to exist and feel fulfilled at your age. Instead of envying others, you could have spent that time bettering yourself so that you're not a mess when you finally find someone who reciprocates your feelings. Also, stop saying 'to get picked', it's degrading. You're not a dog at a shelter or an item on a shelf. Finding a man won't fix your problems.

 

[FireFox]

It's painful to read and feel how alienated you are from the idea of needing someone else to exist and feel fulfilled at your age. Instead of envying others, you could have spent that time bettering yourself so that you're not a mess when you finally find someone who reciprocates your feelings. Also, stop saying 'to get picked', it's degrading. You're not a dog at a shelter or an item on a shelf. Finding a man won't fix your problems.

@ylenol I have tried to enjoy life as a single woman. Believe me , nobody understands how hard I have been trying.

I vist museums, parks and places in my city all by myself because I have no friends I do thrill seeking activities such as climbing and exploring tunnels by myself. I have natural confidence to talk to guys but no guy ever takes sn interest. At school I was that unpopular weird girl the boys relentlessly builled while other girls got asked out, at university I was just that girl a guy saw as another girl on campus or the societies chair as I was involved in student politics but nobody ever saw me as someone to pick.

None of it makes me happy because whenever I go out I always other women have their men by their side they are so lucky in so many ways. I wish I was her. All my life I have been that girl now woman who never gets picked. I hate it . Even own my dad rejected me to go make a new family. He only cared about my existence to

A woman who gets picked is special and loved I wish for once that can happen for me.

 

[Roseate]

Honestly being single is so much peaceful. I see others relationships and see their constant pain and I'm glad it's not me. Women literally lose their minds dealing with a bum guy on the daily and no matter how wise they choose, the guys always portray themselves one way then show their true colors another way. I've seen women be cheated on, beaten on and I'm not saying you should be thankful, but the chance of finding a good guy that's nearly impossible and I could just be negative but gaslighting and manipulation and toxic is the norm and the default for most people. You could always find a random guy to lose your virginity to, and it's not hard to find a guy. Most guys standards are extremely low they will sleep with anything, even if they claim they won't. They will just to have an extra body in their belt. I mean you can always find an average guy if it's your look, surely there are plenty of average guy or fat guys desperate enough to not care, and I'm not trying to sound rude (if it sounds it) but it's not hard and I say this as someone "young" (i don't know why I air quoted young I'm in my early 20s so I am young) who don't date, isn't the "standard" body size or look wise (depending on which standard we are going by) and it's also about confidence. Men see you happy and surely they will want to come fuck up your life by flirting with you or trying to sleep with you.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I'm a guy so I'm a bit different, but I feel similarly. Don't think I want to wait until I'm 30 though; that's too far off. In the past I've felt better when I had someone I could be close to, but I'm pretty terrible at making friends and even worse at attracting someone, so I don't really know what to do at this point. I'm just so tired of it all.

 

[enduringwinter]

I'm your father core kinda, wish I could send you all my luck with men in exchange for your British passport

 

[BlazingBob]

I'm 51, never been married, no kids. I've never had a problem meeting women but as they say water seeks its own level and I've been attracted to damaged, emotionally unavailable people because that's what I am. Also the self hate and the core belief I'm unlovable. It could be worse. I could've married the wrong person and went through a nasty divorce and custody battles, etc, like several people I know. It's all a moot point now because I'm too physically sick now to even consider dating. That part of my life is over.