If he could ctb why can’t I?

[mini_weeny]

The husband of a person I know just ctb by hanging, plain and simple out of the blue, probably not planned or anything. Why can't I just do the same? My life is hell from a disability that will keep me in an eternal lockdown, it's already been 2 years since I lost my health and been in lockdown 99% of the time. I have the rope, the anchor point.... it's just that when I see the little cute faces of my cats I just can't imagine them without me and they will go homeless. My heart is torn, no future but my cats need me.

 

[WornOutLife]

Because not all of us have the guts to go for it. Killing yourself is very difficult.

 

[alittlehuman_]

This I realized today. I got hit with a moment where I was ready and I realized that I could go and there wasn't a reason not to but I want to give back to you guys. So I stayed. Still I think examining the pain moves to readiness and that is where I woke today. I am at peace with leaving at 49 year of age because there is nothing here for me anymore. Do you have things unresolved or missed/
Also I think picking a date might be my answer. I will do Monday unless I can find a way to score some fun stuff because I love feeling good and I quit to do life and life is beat. I want to feel good before I go because I have had nothing but shit and worry for 15 years.

 

[mini_weeny]

This I realized today. I got hit with a moment where I was ready and I realized that I could go and there wasn't a reason not to but I want to give back to you guys. So I stayed. Still I think examining the pain moves to readiness and that is where I woke today. I am at peace with leaving at 49 year of age because there is nothing here for me anymore. Do you have things unresolved or missed/

My hyperacusis which is pain in the ears caused by everyday sounds, will keep me forever locked down, FOREVER. I'm in my late 30s, and had a good life, I wanted to do so many things but I'm effectively already dead, I can't enjoy sleeping, eating, can't listen to music or watch tv with decent volume, I can't go outside and feel the sun in my skin without ear protection, can't take walks, nothing. So my only unresolved issue is gathering the balls to do it and the fact that my 5 cats will be homeless, I don't even have family.
the emotional and physical pain also make me realize it's time but fear of pain is almost impossible to overcome. I think most of us are mentally ready but too afraid.

Because not all of us have the guts to go for it. Killing yourself is very difficult.

Specially when we analyze it for months or years.