landojustwannactb
Member
- Apr 29, 2021
- 60
I tried to go last night but decided not to. Ill just wait it out til mothers day is done so i can say my finally good byes to my mother and grandma. And so i can talk to the rest of my family in the motherland.
i was close to ctb last night. No one was in the park. Already picked out a spot where i wouldnt be found til daylight. Noose was waiting. But i just wanted to say good bye to everyone before leaving.
not gonna lie im nervous. I havent felt this nervous in ages. I know for a fact thisll hurt but id rather hurt for the last time than continue to suffer.
id wanna talk to my friends for the meantime but i dont wanna bother them. I also dont want them to know what im about to do. But i guess my departure wont really matter since their lives have went on before me so itll go on without me.
idk whats waiting for me beyond this world but i hope i get to see my lost family and friends i guess. Or heck if it really is just complete darkness then fuck it.
im sad as fuck but i havent really shed a tear. Only that one time where i just felt like im really done with carrying the whole world on my shoulders. Why did i have to exist? Why did i have to reach the age of 26
i wish i could just give my life to someone who really wants to live. I wish that i could just go to sleep and never wake up. Idk if this is still a cry for help or whatever bc ibe already made up my mind of leaving.
i hope my mom doesnt get hurt too much. I hope my sister achieves all her dreams and aspirations. I hope all my homies dont forget about me. I hope theres something greater waiting for me on the otherside. Im nervous terrified and kinda lowkey excited.
its been a good run i guess. 26 yrs aint that bad. Ill do the rest of the world a solid since its getting overpopulated anyway. Idk anyone of u but i hope u guys fight the good fight. And if not i hope u find peace in whatever yall are planning to do. Ill be waiting for u guys on the otherside soon
sorry for the long ass rant. Idek if yall care. I just wanted to put this out there. So that anyone in the same spot doesnt feel too alone. I might be going ahead but ill wait for whoever needs waiting on the otherside.
i was close to ctb last night. No one was in the park. Already picked out a spot where i wouldnt be found til daylight. Noose was waiting. But i just wanted to say good bye to everyone before leaving.
not gonna lie im nervous. I havent felt this nervous in ages. I know for a fact thisll hurt but id rather hurt for the last time than continue to suffer.
id wanna talk to my friends for the meantime but i dont wanna bother them. I also dont want them to know what im about to do. But i guess my departure wont really matter since their lives have went on before me so itll go on without me.
idk whats waiting for me beyond this world but i hope i get to see my lost family and friends i guess. Or heck if it really is just complete darkness then fuck it.
im sad as fuck but i havent really shed a tear. Only that one time where i just felt like im really done with carrying the whole world on my shoulders. Why did i have to exist? Why did i have to reach the age of 26
i wish i could just give my life to someone who really wants to live. I wish that i could just go to sleep and never wake up. Idk if this is still a cry for help or whatever bc ibe already made up my mind of leaving.
i hope my mom doesnt get hurt too much. I hope my sister achieves all her dreams and aspirations. I hope all my homies dont forget about me. I hope theres something greater waiting for me on the otherside. Im nervous terrified and kinda lowkey excited.
its been a good run i guess. 26 yrs aint that bad. Ill do the rest of the world a solid since its getting overpopulated anyway. Idk anyone of u but i hope u guys fight the good fight. And if not i hope u find peace in whatever yall are planning to do. Ill be waiting for u guys on the otherside soon
sorry for the long ass rant. Idek if yall care. I just wanted to put this out there. So that anyone in the same spot doesnt feel too alone. I might be going ahead but ill wait for whoever needs waiting on the otherside.
