Venting "I'd rather listen to your story than attend your funeral" is BS, and other disjointed rambles.

[MourningFlower]

A woman jumped in my city. She did it from a bridge.

I didn't know her. I can't claim she was a friend, or an acquaintance. But I can't help but notice the utter hypocrisy from people now saying "iF OnLy ShE'd SaId SoMeThInG, We CoUlD HaVe HeLpEd!!"

She probably did.

She probably rang those hotlines, made the appointments, took the medications and put the care-plan in place... only for it to amount to nothing. A long waiting list, if she was lucky.

She was probably holding on by a thread, and decided, as many of us do, "Yknow what? Fuck this."

So no, shut the fuck up if you're going to tell us to "talk to someone" or that "help is available". Because you're exactly the same people who tell us it's all in our heads, that we have no right to feel this way and that other people have it worse, and are still standing.

May the lady rest in eternal peace, and may the people only now taking notice of others mental health eternally be humbled.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I mean, how do you know that she probably did those things? You don't know her so it's not like you know the probability of her doing any of those things...

 

[FishRain3469]

That's just the thing..... The OP already stated not to Really know, but more so making an Educated guess which I respect. So... Who Knows... But the subject and topic is Still relevant, regardless of the Actual truth. Just sayin '

 

[StupidCat]

Depends on who you ask for help.
Most people don't give a damn about you.
Family is often a safe bet but not guaranteed.
It's true that talking to someone might help and it does help because we often are blinded by our own problems and need new perspectives.
But that someone that might actually care or attempt to help might not even exist for some people.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

People who were never suicidal dont seem to understand that u cant "fix" someone thats why u have comments like "only if she did *that*". I dont know about hotlines and stuff or what she did before CTB but it just seems disrespectful for me to even guess if she was looking for help or doing like that.

 

[ceilng_tile]

I *did* talk to someone when I was struggling and those people made my problems 1000 times worse.

What they also don't tell you is that although mental healthcare is confidential, there are certain situations where your mental health records become public. This happened to a friend of mine who sued her former employer for discrimination and wrongful termination. The lawyers subpoenaed her old mental health records from before she was ever at that job and shared them with everyone at her deposition, including her former abusive boss.

 

[amerie]

I didn't know her. I can't claim she was a friend, or an acquaintance. But I can't help but notice the utter hypocrisy from people now saying "iF OnLy ShE'd SaId SoMeThInG, We CoUlD HaVe HeLpEd!!"

Funny enough people have been saying shit like this for years, I'm sure this isn't the first time they promised that they'd "hear someone's story" lol. They feel sad in the moment, but I guarantee they didn't even text or call their loved ones asking them if they're alright, or if they need anything right after. Their first thoughts were to blame her for feeling that way. And the cycle repeats.

I *did* talk to someone when I was struggling and those people made my problems 1000 times worse.

What they also don't tell you is that although mental healthcare is confidential, there are certain situations where your mental health records become public. This happened to a friend of mine who sued her former employer for discrimination and wrongful termination. The lawyers subpoenaed her old mental health records from before she was ever at that job and shared them with everyone at her deposition, including her former abusive boss.

It can be used against you in court for custody disputes regarding your children as well, not even just that but they can also try to get you under a conservatorship. It's really fucked up but the plain truth is you have to be strong and not over share in this world if you want to survive in it.

 

[monetpompo]

I didn't know her. I can't claim she was a friend, or an acquaintance. But I can't help but notice the utter hypocrisy from people now saying "iF OnLy ShE'd SaId SoMeThInG, We CoUlD HaVe HeLpEd!!"

She probably did.

She probably rang those hotlines, made the appointments, took the medications and put the care-plan in place... only for it to amount to nothing.

I *did* talk to someone when I was struggling and those people made my problems 1000 times worse.

I guarantee they didn't even text or call their loved ones asking them if they're alright, or if they need anything right after.

humans just don't have enough empathy stored up in their body to care about most people besides themselves. even if you're someone's friend, partner, or family, they really can't care about you past a certain point because they expect you to just "get better" eventually. no one wants to watch you self destruct because you're either too anhedonic, too anxious, or too depressed to actually enjoy anything about your life. the hotlines don't help. they don't say anything useful besides their script. random 988 volunteers won't understand how you feel, but they have to pretend to. they're probably desensitized to hearing "i want to kill myself" or "my life doesn't matter".

what do people mean when they say they could've helped? what can they really do? how do you actually be there for someone in a hard time when all they want to do is kill themselves and isolate? people will send you to the psych ward or think you're too sad to be around if you don't repress your emotions. it's hard to believe that anyone is actually open-minded about suicide. i hate people who think they can save me or think that talking to me will make me feel better. being suicidal makes me feel like a fundamental burden, and people can't believe that. they think it's just hyperbole or they feel bad for me, and then i'm just making them feel bad because they have to talk to a depressed person. i don't believe anyone who thinks they could've helped someone not commit suicide. people just want to pretend that they care before eventually forgetting who she was.

i hate people who post the 988 hotline the most. if they were actually suicidal and called it before, they would know that it only exists so that the government can say there's resources for suicide. it makes me angry to know that there's people that call because they want someone to care and there's 50/50 odds that the phone line will be too busy for anyone to pick up.

 

[ceilng_tile]

what do people mean when they say they could've helped? what can they really do? how do you actually be there for someone in a hard time when all they want to do is kill themselves and isolate? people will send you to the psych ward or think you're too sad to be around if you don't repress your emotions. it's hard to believe that anyone is actually open-minded about suicide. i hate people who think they can save me or think that talking to me will make me feel better. being suicidal makes me feel like a fundamental burden, and people can't believe that. they think it's just hyperbole or they feel bad for me, and then i'm just making them feel bad because they have to talk to a depressed person. i don't believe anyone who thinks they could've helped someone not commit suicide. people just want to pretend that they care before eventually forgetting who she was.

"They could have helped" by listening to your problems for, like, five minutes and then encouraging you to go to someone who could prescribe you a pill to make it all better.

 

[monetpompo]

"They could have helped" by listening to your problems for, like, five minutes and then encouraging you to go to someone who could prescribe you a pill to make it all better.

"there, i listened to you. please go talk to a therapist now, you're making me uncomfortable..."

 

[amerie]

humans just don't have enough empathy stored up in their body to care about most people besides themselves. even if you're someone's friend, partner, or family, they really can't care about you past a certain point because they expect you to just "get better" eventually. no one wants to watch you self destruct because you're either too anhedonic, too anxious, or too depressed to actually enjoy anything about your life. the hotlines don't help. they don't say anything useful besides their script. random 988 volunteers won't understand how you feel, but they have to pretend to. they're probably desensitized to hearing "i want to kill myself" or "my life doesn't matter".

what do people mean when they say they could've helped? what can they really do? how do you actually be there for someone in a hard time when all they want to do is kill themselves and isolate? people will send you to the psych ward or think you're too sad to be around if you don't repress your emotions. it's hard to believe that anyone is actually open-minded about suicide. i hate people who think they can save me or think that talking to me will make me feel better. being suicidal makes me feel like a fundamental burden, and people can't believe that. they think it's just hyperbole or they feel bad for me, and then i'm just making them feel bad because they have to talk to a depressed person. i don't believe anyone who thinks they could've helped someone not commit suicide. people just want to pretend that they care before eventually forgetting who she was.

i hate people who post the 988 hotline the most. if they were actually suicidal and called it before, they would know that it only exists so that the government can say there's resources for suicide. it makes me angry to know that there's people that call because they want someone to care and there's 50/50 odds that the phone line will be too busy for anyone to pick up.

And I honestly don't blame them, it's not possible, it's really stressful even to the most trained professionals. The will to live is mostly up to you to find and not everyone has it in them. I just don't understand why people hate suicide so much if this is the case.

 

[Pluto]

 

[divinemistress36]

Nobody wants to listen about your depression even closet friends and family

 

[kopebaldy]

It depends, I know some ppl around me genuinely want to listen and help.
But venting doesn't do anything other than spreading my negativity around and hamper my chance of CTB.
Normal people can't understand depressed minds. Their help tends to worsen my already fragile mental state.
Which isn't their fault, that's how they experience the world and it clearly works for them. It's just... I'm not normal man.