Venting I would like to be like others

[Mental666]

I am 18 years old and I am still in high school. I hate the fact how unjust the life is. Many of my peers seem to lead a happy life without mental illnesses.

But for me it's different. I've been struggling with BDD for few years and it's just nightmare. I wake up hating myself. I go to sleep hating myself. I meet with friends and I hate myself. There isn't any place or time where I can feel relief. I am constantly conscious about my appearance and worry about that. My self-worth just simply doesn't exist.

I've tried many things and none of them helped me feel good. I don't even want to talk to my therapist anymore. Life is so unfair. We don't have free will at all. Everything is caused by our genes, environment, upbringing. I wait for the day when I will just say "I guess that's it" like Ronnie Mcnutt and do what I should do from the beggining...

 

[blinkblink]

i have bdd too, it sucks. honestly idk if its a disorder at this point or if im just ugly. its definitely life ruining though, centering everything around something u cant even control (or marginally so). its truly consuming.

i have no advice i just wanted to say ur not alone and maybe one day itll be different.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Can you get some cosmetic surgery? It can do wonders. I mean it's not the total answer, but I think it can help build confidence. If I had it done when I was younger things may of been different. My fondest years were those I had after getting surgery done and I didn't feel like such an ugly piece of crap for once in my life. I got some attention and it felt good. You can also change your body composition through gym and weight training.

 

[siphon_hyphen]

I'm 18 as well, and struggling similarly. It's really not fair that we have to deal with these things! It's not! It's like the whole world is against us.

Maybe this is silly, but something that has always motivated me to keep pushing forward is spite. Like... Why should I prove everyone right that the mentally ill are doomed? I want to do better than all of them to prove them wrong. I want to be successful and learn to be happy despite my numerous disorders. Perhaps you could find a similar motivation, too