I wish I had died already

[Painless_end]

This is probably one of the most common things being posted here all the time.

Some are grateful to not have succeeded in their previous attempts. But many of us keep wishing we were not alive today.

Life gets darker and depressing. For me it gets tougher physically and mentally. I have to keep on trying to keep my head above water.

It's just not how I wanted things to be. If I had the mental energy and resilience to change things I would have long ago. This is all just so tiring and pointless all the time.

I wish I was never born.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm one of those who felt like living again after his failed CTB attempt but now I'm feeling like you.
I guess once suicidal, always suicidal.
We just want peace and freedom!

 

[Superdeterminist]

I strongly relate. I'm not religious, but I find this bible passage very fitting (Ecclesiastes 4:1-4):

Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors— and they have no comforter. And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive. But better than both is the one who has never been born, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.

 

[itachi of death]

My failed ctb caused some parts of my brain to function non properly, which makes me wanna ctb even morw

 

[albino_elk]

My failed ctb caused some parts of my brain to function non properly, which makes me wanna ctb even morw

Whats diffrent after a failed ctb? You have troubles to reading or what exactly? Im curious

 

[itachi of death]

Whats diffrent after a failed ctb? You have troubles to reading or what exactly? Im curious

My thinking process ,is almost non existant,existent, I do things that fuck me over without thinking about it,like accidentally throw away money or do things without a sliver of common sense,and I lose everything I mean I lose so much items it makes me wanna hurt myself,and Its hard to understand and remember almost everything,I did it when I was 17 and im 26 now and have noticed all of this recently and I dont even wanna be alive

 

[grungeCat]

Exactly! I regret my every suicide attempt... because I didn't kill myself. I am tired of bearing this yoke of life. I am tired of seeing these happy people on the street. My envy grows every day and begins to turn into hatred. God, fate, whatever exists there, please let me die this time.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

I have to keep on trying to keep my head above water.

That reminded me of this:

Spoiler

I wish I was never born.

Same here, it would have been so much better.

 

[albino_elk]

My thinking process ,is almost non existant,existent, I do things that fuck me over without thinking about it,like accidentally throw away money or do things without a sliver of common sense,and I lose everything I mean I lose so much items it makes me wanna hurt myself,and Its hard to understand and remember almost everything,I did it when I was 17 and im 26 now and have noticed all of this recently and I dont even wanna be alive

Maybe its not about ctb and failed attempts.
I lose everything too and w/o ctb xD... With a depression the brains becomes a shit eventually.. depression eats brains, you lose so much neurons and their connections with each other it becomes hard to do basic things:}

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i too feel like my death is long overdue, if i'm lucky i'm looking at sometime this month...

 

[EmptyManForever]

My failed ctb caused some parts of my brain to function non properly,

It happened to me too after my failed hanging attempts,like i also cant think properly anymore, its almost like i have no thought process as well.

Maybe its not about ctb and failed attempts.
I lose everything too and w/o ctb xD... With a depression the brains becomes a shit eventually

Its not depression, it happened to me too with my failed ctb attempt as well, i think the brain chemistry changed during my failed attempt of hanging myself

 

[itachi of death]

Maybe its not about ctb and failed attempts.
I lose everything too and w/o ctb xD... With a depression the brains becomes a shit eventually.. depression eats brains, you lose so much neurons and their connections with each other it becomes hard to do basic things:}

Maybe its not about ctb and failed attempts.
I lose everything too and w/o ctb xD... With a depression the brains becomes a shit eventually.. depression eats brains, you lose so much neurons and their connections with each other it becomes hard to do basic things:}

Very true,very well spoken idk I just have a self-hatred thing going on i suppose

It happened to me too after my failed hanging attempts,like i also cant think properly anymore, its almost like l.

It makes it hard for me to do certain tasks idk it just makes my life hell,and myself hatred doesn't help anything, but I hate to hear someone else going through the similar pains as i.

 

[EmptyManForever]

It makes it hard for me to do certain tasks idk it just makes my life hell

Same for me as well !